When I posted my blog about finally being done in the basement yesterday, my friend Leigh wrote this comment, "Congratulations! And how appropriate that you finished now, today, at the time of re-birth....one more step taken towards transformation...." I hadn't really thought of that, but the timing was exactly perfect.
With each item that I kept, donated, tossed or sold, there was a piece of "me" that was part of it too. It was an emotional experience that took me far longer than I ever anticipated it would. My mother was who pointed out the symbolism of letting go of the parts of me. It wasn't just 10 years of Stampin' Up! items that left the building; it was 18 years of living in this house that was leaving as well. I had to go carefully. I had to go slowly. What stays? What goes? There is still another side of the basement to tackle. Too many bins of every blessed item I saved from the kids. They are at an age where I think we can go through it and decide if we really need every scribble from day care they ever did. I think we can probably pare it down. I hope we can.
I also realized as I was falling asleep last night, it was VERY hard for me to "do" all the work I was doing all at the same time. Yes, I imposed a 53 day challenge for myself, and I am very glad I did, because without it, I may have gone on a total food bender. Mind, body, food, spirit, and basement all at the same time was huge. To me. To someone else it might have been no big deal. For me, if was a gargantuan effort. For many years, the basement was a place I went to hide from my own unhappiness. I had to face that. It was exhausting. I took a break from journaling. My last entry was on March 13, (I just looked) and it's not even a complete journal entry. It followed a complete break down on March 12; a journal entry that was so emotional I know it will be a long time before I read it again. (I don't tend to re-read what I've written, but every once in a while I go back to see if I have actually come as far as I think I have.) I needed a break from something as simple as writing in a journal; something I do for my own good. I haven't lit a candle since then. I haven't pulled a card. So, you see, there was an awful lot of processing going on.
This week, I did something I haven't done since, probably, October. I read fiction. I disappeared from reality for a while each night. It was a treat to read something mindless that didn't require a highlighter or the use of my brain. I loved every second of it.
I have a jam packed week coming up. I am very excited to be heading on a yoga and hiking retreat Friday through Sunday. My last retreat was in late October. That experience opened up parts of me that had been shut down. I fully expect the same thing to happen this weekend. According to my mom, the location is "magical." I suspect there will be more than one Glass House Retreat planned for there.
And so, on this Easter Sunday, wash yourself of yourself. It is a time of rebirth. Most importantly, be kind to everyone, INCLUDING, and especially yourself. We're all worth it.
As always, please feel free to comment, share, and let me know what you think. xo
Be like melting snow ~ wash yourself of yourself.
Coincidence? Of course not.
| || |