Watching copious amounts of HGTV, the Food Network, DIY, and TLC. I flip back and forth between the channels like a kid strung out on sugar.
I have read a lot of books. Mostly fluff.
I have spent time in my head, endlessly trying to determine, what comes next? Since that is the question that flummoxes me the most, I ignore it and carry on.
I have been spending time with Peter. My eldest amuses me to no end. He is hilariously funny and righteously serious. He quotes Donald Trump to me and probably counts down backwards from "1" to see how fast it take me to turn around and slap him. He has worked very hard this summer and has saved up a tidy amount towards his own savings account. He has taken a few moments here and there to at least make some of his own fabulous memories this summer.
I have been spending time with Bella - doing the requisite shopping for college that seems to never end. Just when you think you're done, you remember something else to add to the pile. Bella was born curious. She has a twinkle in her eye, a spring in her step, and a song in her heart. She is our family comedian and I know I will miss her banter.
For instance, just yesterday she was saying something to Peter involving medicine. He was dissing her. Her response, "Peter, I am watching Gray's Anatomy these days. I am THAT MUCH closer to a doctor than ever." Our friend Mary was in the house so we have a witnesses to this madness.
That's what I will miss.
I watch these two people and I am so proud. They are remarkable people. I like them. I want to be around them - except of course when I don't...
As they get ready to leave for their respective college experiences I marvel at their confidence. I think to myself, "We did that." We gave them the soft place to land so they could explore, be courageous, be brave, and live life to it's fullest.
I know from this past year when they leave, it is quiet. When they come back, it is loud, and messy, and laughter filled. Friends gather and visit.
With both of them gone, it will be doubly quiet.
I won't have to worry (not that I do as Bella will attest to) about what's for dinner. Cold cuts will last a day more. A gallon of milk will last ten days. Ben & Jerry's Phish Food will not have to be labeled with duct tape and a sharpie so as to make sure the right person's ice cream stays frozen. (Seriously.)
But the wings they are growing.
They make ME soar.
These two kids of mine make me proud. They make me stare and marvel at the magnificence of the humans we have created. They are the best of us and of course, the worst of us, and boy, oh, boy, they are truly something.
When I read the longings of my friends as their kids fly the nest and head off on their next big adventure, I appreciate it. I get it.
But I don't follow that same thought process. I want and need them to go forth and take on the world. (And I do know my friends who are missing their kids want the same thing!)
I applaud, wish them well, and know I've got their backs - no matter what, no matter where, no matter how.
And pretty soon you'll start to figure out your part
Everyone plays a piece and there are melodies
In each one of us, oh, it's glorious