When I went to bed last night, my thoughts on this mornings post were, it's Friday and I love to use fun pictures and music to kick off the weekend.

I woke up to FB statuses and emails I can't ignore and since we have proven to be a powerfully positive group of people, I am going to ask you all to send out healing vibes, good thoughts, prayers, white light, and/or whatever YOU use to keep yourself afloat. There's a lot going on in this crazy, mixed-up, glorious, beautiful world and I need to share three stories this morning.

I got a text from Amy last night. THIS is her FB status this morning:
We need ALL PRAYER WARRIORS! Just left ER with our 11 year old Jake. They did a cat scan and find what they believe is a brain tumor at the base of his skull. We go to Riley for an MRI and testing at 10 am. Please pray. God knows how much we can handle and I am a little tired. Praying this is just another situation where we will see the faithfulness of God.

If you have been following along on this blog, you know Amy has had massive medical issues. You know Jeff lost his job. You know this has been beyond a ride for them. You also know the strength Amy and Jeff and the kids have. 

Money won't help make the medical tests easier, but it will make their day to day living easier. Once again I am appealing to you to consider contributing to the fundraiser I created. Click HERE to do so.

A few years ago, I met an extraordinarily talented massage therapist, Jen Pellingra. I was working for the chiropractor and Jen was sharing the office space for her practice. To date, Jen has given me one of the most powerfully healing massages I have ever received. She gives selflessly of talents to any local cause that asks for a donation.

In March of this year, at age 35, Jen was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Like so many, Jen has no health insurance.

Jen has to have her thyroid removed as well as deal with a myriad of other issues that happens when one gets this ill.

A marvelous fundraising page has been set up for her, HERE. Read her story, watch the short video and if you can share, please consider giving to her equally worthy self.

My friend Colleen, AKA Robin to most of the world, put this on her FB wall last night:

Praying tonight for my best friend's daughter who was hit by a hit and run driver today while walking home from work. She's 6 months pregnant. So far they've been able to slow contractions. Praying this continues and she will deliver full term. Leaving it in God's tender care. Thankful for a relational, attentive, loving God.

I ask all of you to do your thing. Reading just these three statuses is enough to make me incredibly grateful for the little things. For the sunlight. For the break in the humidity. For my friend Sarah, who gifted us with a portable air conditioner the other day that has changed our life. For the jobs we have. For the HEALTH we have. For the love. 

Enjoy this Friday. 

THIS song, is for all of us.

Talk of poems and prayers and promises and things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone how right it is to care

http://youtu.be/FF84j66_RIs

Here's what I love about blogging; so often the response to what you write is instantaneous. I don't have a gigantic following of people who read what I write. Some people are a day behind because they read it in their email via subscription. Some people read it via feedly or some other reader. (That allows you to subscribe to all your blogs at once.) Some people get here via another blog or source. It is utterly amazing and random and delicious.

I try to put myself out there as much as possible without fully bringing my family into it; but let's face it, they provide some terrific material and they are who I surround myself with. So sometimes I worry about that aspect of writing because this is a small town and I know many of the people here. However, the response has been so overwhelmingly positive from people I admire, respect, love and know that I keep plugging along. The back and forth I have with people about certain posts always keeps me on my toes. I have one going on now that made me sit back and REALLY think. This mornings response ended with two words, "Ponder THAT." My response, "It's a good thing I love you. I hate pondering shit."

So, while I ponder, I invite you all to take what you need. The list is endless on what the universe will give you, but, I promise you, even when life seems to suck and when you are tired and overwhelmed and have had just about enough, someone, somewhere, cares enough about you to give you what you need. It may be as simple as two words.

Ponder that.

xo

Can you take what you need, but take less than you give?
http://youtu.be/-R7VFkGqAzA

I couldn't decide. Listen to both.

You might find you get what you need...
Interesting to note, in the live versions of this song, when Mick sings, "You can't always get what you need" he follows it with, "True love."
http://youtu.be/XIX0ZDqDljA

So naturally I have to let you listen.
http://youtu.be/oqMl5CRoFdk

It took me hours to write yesterday's post. This morning I feel like I have so much to say and yet, nothing new at all. It's the ongoing dilemma of one who writes every day. There was an immediate response to my post yesterday via text, FB messages, email and of course, the comments section here. This path we all walk on is so similar even with all the differences in us.

Today's FB post cuts right to the heart of the matter. No one has it all together. We are all a little fucked up, living this crazy, little thing called life. And yet to look at our FB pictures and posts you would think we are all so blissfully happy. And for THAT snippet of time, we are.

And then "real life" happens and every now and then we fall apart. I used to be amazed at how well some women parented. Then I would find out that they too lost their shit on their kids and I wasn't alone. I would be envious of vacations people took and find out they were in deep debt. I would be jealous of other relationships and discover no one in the house was talking to each other. The list is endless on how many of us fake it. I have a friend, who years ago, referred to her nuclear family as "a farce of a family." We laughed, and yet, it is really all too common that SO many families are just barely hanging on. It looks great on the outside but if we were in fact, all living in glass houses, we would want them to look like TGHR - stained glass. Beautiful on the outside but not quite clear enough to see all the way in.

Jenny Lawson, AKA The Bloggess wrote a post yesterday about wishes. It is short. The responses to it are anything but. More than 1,300 responses were tallied when I looked through them. It appears as if all of us, in various states of fragile humanness, have a lot of wishes. Many of us wish to have our deepest insecurities not be a part of who we are. But isn't that exactly what makes us who we are? Such a Catch-22.

So, the next time I am feeling inadequate or unworthy or not 100% I will think about the people I know, love and respect, who, I like to think have their act together and I will wonder, "Hmmmm, what would THEY wish for?" Because I like knowing that every now and then we all fall apart. It makes this journey interesting.

I don't know what to do, I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
http://youtu.be/lcOxhH8N3Bo

When I started writing this morning, I was planning on writing about fixing someone based on my FB post today. Then, I remembered I had already done so HERE. 

I faced a dilemma on what to write about. I ran out the door to yoga and figured I would write about it when I got home from yoga and acupuncture. Hours passed while I pondered this.

Cara always has such sage things to say, whether it's through yoga, her writing or just a quick text. Cara's blog pieces tend to hit me front and center. THIS piece, in particular, really made me sit up and take notice of what I do with myself. Food has typically been where I run to when I am not in the best state of mind. It sucks. Intellectually, I know I am damaging myself. Emotionally, it gives me solace. And then I get pissed off. And so the cycle continues. 

I am a pretty enlightened person with many resources at my disposal. I know what to do, I know how to do it, but my poor heart can really only go to one place. The kitchen. It's a vicious cycle I have repeated many times in my life. The state of my body is usually the state of my mental health. It means I need to kick it into gear and get my shit together. Again. It is so insanely frustrating. I can't blame it on hormones. I can't blame it on the person who does the grocery shopping. I can't blame it on ignorance. I can watch in a totally detached manner as I put food I really don't want into my mouth to compensate for something in my shattered self. For, as always, I am the one who needs to be fixed. I am the one whose heart is fragile.

I am not alone in this. Every Weight Watchers meeting contains someone like me. Every nutritionist has a client like me. Every trainer has a client like me. There are millions of people like me. But I am the only one who can work on me and be in my head.

None of this is ever easy. I am glad I have the people in my life who love me and who will help me get to where I want to be. One step forward, two steps back. The dance of the slightly shattered pieces of my heart.

You will rarely hear me complain about the cold. This is why there are blankets and jackets and gloves. On the other hand, I can always be counted on to whine about the heat.

I remember being a little girl and sleeping in my room. We had no A/C. Well, my parents did, but they were the only ones...selfish, really, if you think about it; I will be sure to bring it up in therapy. We did have the box fans that sat on the floor and moved around a zillion degrees. ANYWAY, I recall putting my pillow on the windowsill and sleeping with my head like that. Now, we would have a coronary that our kids were going to fall out of the window, and we wouldn't let that even happen, because WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND allows a kid to sleep by the window?! Another therapist moment I suspect...

In my own house we don't have central air. When I was pregnant with Peter we reconfigured and remodeled the upstairs, removing any attic space we had. I WAS PREGNANT, thus, I was brain dead. Why I didn't think about A/C is beyond my limited remembrance of that time, but, I could have been reminded from some kind soul, I don't know, the architect maybe, that duct work and A/C stuff needs space. So, in a moment of glory we went with vaulted ceilings and no place whatsoever to put in central air. Yes, of course I know about ductless air conditioners. You need the wall space to install that. We don't have that either.

We DO have window units. And we do have Vernardo fans that are a kick-ass version of the old box fan. And if I am on top of it, we can keep it humidity free and relatively comfortable in the house. Yesterday, one of my friends offered me her portable A/C unit. I just need Peter and Marco to head on over to her house to make it happen. THAT will make ALL the difference in the world. HOW grateful am I?! I may even fire up the stove again. Oh, who's kidding who? Let's not get crazy.

It is almost too hot for the beach and the pool. My fair, Irish skin, sizzles in the heat. I marvel that Peter played baseball all last week in the heat and Marco watched the games! I would have melted and been particularly unbearable to be around.

I have many friend who LOVE the hot weather. Love, love, love it. Bless their hearts.

What do you do to stay cool?

All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head
http://youtu.be/qHwZN1X6BVw

While researching Dave this week I saw an ecard that made me laugh. I didn't save it (I will do so from now on) and as a result, I think I spent more time looking for that, to add to this post, than I did on my final paper last year all to no avail. What it said, as I recall was, certain DMB songs are the same as the stages of a relationship. 

• Crush
  
• Crash
  
• You & Me
  
• Where Are You Going
  
• The Space Between
  

After looking at dozens of videos and listening to many, many songs, one of my very favorites remains, "You & Me." The video is priceless.

YouTube link for Sweet: http://youtu.be/u-vDK4v6VEQ
YouTube link for You & Me: http://youtu.be/kD9CrZODlNA

Dear Candace ~

You helped me get into a lot more Dave than I ever would have had it been all through commercial radio. And, since I was listening to the music with an ear specifically towards the lyrics, I can now understand the love Dave's fans have for him. He writes gorgeous songs about the complications from this crazy ride called life and what we want from it.

I keep finding the same answer, over and over, in quite nearly every song. LOVE. We all want/need/desire love in all it's infinite glory. With love, hand in hand, there is always pain. I guess cliches don't happen without a reason. What's goes up, must come down. Into each life a little rain must fall. Dave has figured out how to put all his emotion out there for the world to hear, and it's not via rhymes. It's raw, from the gut, emotional truths he has lived or witnessed.

Has anyone else felt this way? Have you too discovered we really all just want the exact same thing? Did any of these songs really bring it home for you? Do share.

Enjoy this Saturday. 

xo

I will go in this way 
And find my own way out 
I won't tell you to stay 
But I'm coming to much more 
Me 

http://youtu.be/Amvtyb-efbU

I hope, if like me, you weren't a Dave Matthews fan, you at least have come to appreciate the poetry of his songs through this exercise of DMB 101. 

Each day I have found a different song that somehow manages to express something I feel or have felt in my life. I believe that is always the true spirit of music; to touch the soul of the listener and to invoke an emotion or feeling.

I love this line, "Would you like to dance around the world with me?" Enjoy your Friday; think about who you'd like to dance around the world with!

xo

I remember thinking 
I'll go on forever only knowing 
I'll see you again 

http://youtu.be/1zGeZ-O9mmI

On this 4th of July, I am grateful to have the freedoms I do in the United States. Being born here is a privilege I take for granted. Then, I read about the madness happening all over the rest of the world and stop and think, "How fortunate am I?"

I have a teen who became a Hula Girl for ten days. She had the time of her life and has nearly 600 awesome pictures to prove it.

I have another teen who is off exploring college options and playing the American pastime of sports, baseball, for nearly a full week.

I have a blog where I can write whatever the heck I want.

In keeping with the spirit of the 4th of July, and DJ Candace, who, for the record, has YET to hear anything she suggested to me on this site as I have been exploring Dave myself, present "Cry Freedom."

Enjoy your 4th. Be safe. Be careful. Have fun!

Watch the video.
It's beautiful.
http://youtu.be/b0gEG1zqKAE

Let me share with you, how my lessons of Dave 101, made something wonderful happen yesterday. Proving, indeed, that my business card is 100% accurate in declaring, "I create community & bring people together."

I received this (edited) FB message yesterday morning from Stephanie:
I know this is last minute, but I won Dave Matthews tickets at Bethel Woods. Show is tonight at 7. I couldn't use them, I gave them to my neighbor, and she called last night to say turns out she can't go either. If you are interested, you are welcome to call me right now or can call my cell.

W-H-A-T?! Really? Seriously?!

Alas, I had to work until 5pm last night. Hula Girl is coming home today so I swapped my day off. Otherwise, I totally would have gone.

BUT.
But.
BUT...CANDACE! 
Candace would LOVE these tickets.

Well, you know what happened next. I connected Candace to Stephanie and the rest, as they say, is history. I received a delightful text this morning from Candace: GREAT, great concert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really did nothing. I wrote about a phone conversation. I started to listen to Dave. I totally fell in love with some songs. I shared it on FB. 

I like to believe coming from a place of love makes the universe just listen and help make amazing things happen. Many will roll their eyes at that, but just as many are shaking their heads in agreement.

In other news, I fell in love with TODAY's Dave last night. At the end of our lives, really, do we want to have a lot of woulda, coulda, shoulda or do we want to know we lived? I would like to think I have sat on the edge of the world and loved while I lived.

Have the best day! Feel free, as always to like this post and share it.

xo

Would you not like to be 
Sitting on top of the world with 
Your legs hanging free 
http://youtu.be/NuxQUQaAe0c

There are about a million directions I could go with this quote, with this song, and with the words, "stay or leave." 

So, rather than make myself crazy trying to write a post that expresses how I feel about three little words, I am going to go out on a limb and allow you to think about the words and write your own posts.

If you are so inclined, I would love to hear what you have to say. 

xo

Candace is playing DJ via texts, but, I keep finding different songs.
Love this and I love the suggestions DJ C.
http://youtu.be/lXOnA_gxdFo

We all get caught in the moments of the "not so blissful" that is life. I suspect, even the most enlightened, spiritual, joyful people suffer, feel miserable, and aren't always "on." Ahhh, the beauty of being human.

I think that is why this quote struck me as so important. I suggest listening to your heart ALL the time. So, why not TELL the heart that today is the best day of the year? It seems easy enough. Even when it's a rough day, if you start of believing this, it might just make a crappy day better. One day at a time.

Living one day at a time is very hard for me. I can write about it. I can talk about it. But to actually implement it? It's work. There are areas of my life that I still haven't conquered with this mantra. My respect for people in a 12-Step Program has increased by a huge margin as I have tried to live by these words. I have them hanging on the wall in my kitchen as a reminder. It doesn't work very well for me.

I would like to be able to state emphatically that today I will care for myself when it comes to food and exercise. I would like to state I will be kind to my heart and my head. I would like to state I will only spend one hour on the internet. I would like to state I will spend no time in the past and live fully in the present. OH, the things I would like to state. But my humanness, it kicks my ass. It is frustrating to feel so out of control about things I should be able to control. (The use of the word should was intentional.)

Each of us is different and the way we handle what life throws at us is different. Not right. Not wrong. Just different.

Watch the video to go along with the song. It is worth it. 

EVERYDAY. It's the best day.

I present, Dave.
Day two.
http://youtu.be/RXe8PFKsOIc

Updates from Hula Girl:
The texts are sporadic but happy. Seriously, how could they be anything but?!

They have been to Volcano National Park for two days of hiking and fun.

Yesterday they went to Punaluu, a black sand beach. Then they went south and went to a green sand beach. I am trying to figure out which beach Bella is on in the picture. 

Today they are snorkeling. 

Tonight they are headed to the summit of Mauna Kea where they will stand on top of the world's tallest mountain which rises over 31,000 feet from the ocean floor. They will watch the sun set and then they will look through telescopes to experience the wonders of the sky. The temperature from the base to the top will drop more than 40 degrees!