Tomorrow evening is THE event to stop into in Croton, NY as far as Backstage Salon is concerned.

Kathy and I knew we wanted to have a Cast Party; new ownership is a BIG deal!

You all recall this is a dream come true for Kathy. I am so delighted to be along helping her with her dream while she in turn helps me with my own each and every day.

You would be hard pressed to find a better partnership. Seriously.

We knew when the time came for the party we wanted to work with local businesses. Each and every person we are working with is a client of the salon.

HOW cool is that?

Flowers will be in colorful abundance from Sunshine & Clover.

A wide assortment of beverages will be on tap.

A tremendous variety of hors d'oeuvres will be devoured courtesy of Cole's Market. We also have the pleasure of three members of their renowned wait staff to help keep food moving.

Baked by Susan is baking an obscene amount of mini cupcakes. 

Photographs will be taken by the immesenly gifted Rana Faure.

If you are around tomorrow night, I invite you to join us as we toast our new business, as we toast our supremely talented staff, as we honor our clients, and as we welcome new faces.

Yesterday, Jake went back to Riley for an MRI to check the spot they found on his scan 8 weeks ago. Results are in sometime today. Send all you got, OK? OK!

I haven't gotten any updates lately, but you know I always only want all good energy and thoughts out to Kim ~ Kelly ~ Nancy ~ Steve ~ Jullian ~ and of course, my Amy.

Feel free to add people to our powerful circle of love whenever you want to!

::: on the soapbox for a minute :::

Right now, in our small community, there is a proposed pipeline project, as well as a project involving the burial of high voltage cables. It will affect communities throughout Westchester.

It is beyond awful. Despite the discussions about this since last November many people remain unaware of this.

This WILL affect the quality of our lives.

I mean it.  

I implore you to educate yourself about this.

HERE is a quick article.

I couldn't attend the rally last night, but HERE is a snippet of the rally that I implore you to watch.

Then, I equally implore you to sign the PETITION. Go to Public Comments and add your voice. Literally, just write the words, "Enough is enough" and sign it. 

Back in my youth, when I had crazy amounts of cleaning or planning to do, Billy Idol was my go-to guy. I would crank up the stereo and get it done.

Planning the party has been like planning a wedding without a seating chart.

I am not about to take out my vacuum...here's a little Billy to kick start this day!

xo

It's a nice day to start again.
It's a nice day for a white wedding! 
It's a nice day to start again.

http://youtu.be/x9j6DE6RnSk

Right now, this second, there is a proposed pipeline to our immediate area in Westchester that will affect not only our small community but MANY communities throughout the state.

It affects people from upstate NY to downstate NY. Read THIS article from the New York Times.
[LINK: http://bit.ly/tghrnyt2014531]

There is a petition on the New York State Department of Public Works website with over 750 public comments and that isn't enough.

By June 18 there needs to be at least 1,500.

So why am I putting it here?

Because utility companies want to put massive industrial complexes in small, residential neighborhoods. They want to obliterate baseball fields. They want to mess with the Hudson. They want to screw with our quality of life.

Many of the leaders in the municipalities are vehemently against this and are fighting it with all they have in them. They are, thankfully, being backed up by many other voices in the community.

Unfortunately, it is not enough voices.

We need help and we need it quickly.

I urge you to take some time to look into this and add your name to the PUBLIC COMMENTS (2nd tab) of the petition. Even if you don't live here but around here or for that matter, anywhere in the country.
[LINK: http://bit.ly/tghr2014531]

Please add an individual comment. Do not a comment as a couple. The more comments, the better.

There is A TON of information on THIS Facebook page.
[LINK: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1466236070278705/]

Many years ago, just after Three Mile Island, I saw Dan Fogelberg in concert. He sang this song and while singing it, urged us to gather our voices heard in response to that mess. 

Now - let's get our collective voice together for THIS mess.

xo

There's a light in the depths of your darkness 
There's a calm at the eye of every storm 
There's a light in the depths of your darkness 
Let it shine...oh, let it shine

http://youtu.be/TfYPJVXLTeQ

Yesterday, I received an email that broke my heart a little. It was from someone who was in the midst of a "horrible divorce."

From the tone of the email, I suspect it isn't going down like Gwyneth & Chris. Conscious Uncoupling doesn't appear to be making an appearance in the dissolution of this particular marriage.

Divorce is never easy.

I got divorced in my twenties, pre-kids, and still it had really awful moments.

Once you add kids into your world, the stakes are totally different.

In 1549, the traditional wedding vows were first printed in The Booke of Common Prayer. The average lifespan at that time was 30 for men and 24 for women. The average length of the FIRST marriage was very short. Many married up to four times.

Seriously.

"Til death do us part," was being said at an age when you were going to be married for a short period of time. There was land and property at stake. Families were evolving into superpowers when the "right matches" were critical to survival.

Fast forward to now.

We live into our 90's.

We celebrate people who are married for many years.

We wonder how they make it last.

From what I can see, using a completely unscientific method of listening to the hundreds of people I know, we fake it.

Everyone has moments that are terrific. Everyone has moments that are brutal. People stay together for the kids, for economics, for this reason and that reason, and at the end of the day, I often wonder who is really as blissfully happy?

I do know PLENTY of people who are very happily married. People who have communicated and worked hard AT being married. People who have grown together and listened to each other, and who genuinely like each other.

I also know a crazy amount of people who are hanging by a thread. People who are waiting for "the right time" to dissolve their own marriages.

I think if there wasn't a shaming in divorce, if there weren't economic factors at play, if you could stay friendly with the people who you chose as the parents of your kids, if you could be kind to each other no matter what, divorce wouldn't be as big a deal as it is.

People change. People move on. People grow out of love. You can love someone with all your might and not BE "in love" with them anymore.

Our friends change with the many seasons of our life. Maybe if ending a marriage was like the seasons of friendships, it would be easier.

I wish my friend well during this turbulent time in her life. Thankfully she does have an awesome network of family and friends to help her navigate the next chapter of her life.

I wish her peace, and true love, and happiness, and financial stability, and the knowledge that she will get through this.

xo

All these impermanent things
Present yet elusive
Passive yet abusive
Tearing out the heart in utter silence

http://youtu.be/an9eziYKD3A

It takes work to become who you want to be. The work isn't always easy. God knows it ain't pretty.

It usually requires a fair amount of self reflection and courage to make the changes that will allow you to be your own true self.

I have read a zillion different times to do something every day that scares you.

Sometimes just opening your eyes and starting your day can be scary! Sometimes it can be exhilarating. Sometimes it can be the same old same old - the hamster wheel of last week.

And sometimes, you finally allow the new door to open, you throw away your fear, and you go forth with wild abandon!

Here's to being yourself.

In whatever form it is currently residing in you.

xo

I have loved this song for SO many years.

Since there are absolutely no coincidences in life, after a day of running around, this was the last song that played in my car before I got out.

How appropriate that it's called "All Of Me."

http://youtu.be/9fAZIQ-vpdw

Have you ever been stuck?

Emotionally? Mentally? Physically? Spiritually? Nutritionally? 

Yes to all of the above?

Moving on is H-A-R-D. Turning the page is sometimes godawful difficult. Closing the book is damn near impossible.

I have a magnet that looks like it is loudly telling me to "Snap Out Of It!"

OH, so much easier said than done.

Alas, this isn't a post with a "How To" guide attached to it. I haven't figured it all out either. It's a reminder that we're human and sometimes, oftentimes, we get stuck.

Today, I've decided I am OK with being stuck in whatever mode I am stuck in. Eventually I will get out of my own way and move ahead. I might need a good, swift kick in the ass to do so, but I will move on.

There I go
Turn the page

http://youtu.be/3khH9ih2XJg

OK, so this salon business owner thing is exciting, tiring, busy, and rewarding. There's a lot of behind the scenes things going on, and I am attempting to do as much as I can during my waking hours. It is no picnic.

I'm sure you realized there was no blog yesterday.

I literally did a 6:30am card reading for a friend.

I got dressed and headed to work by 7:50. I went to Shoprite for stuff we needed for the salon. I left my cell phone at the self checkout lane. I went back to Shoprite to get the phone. I unpacked a box of products and then it was time to start the day.

The weather is finally getting marvelous and with that comes the need to have a new spring 'do. New colors, new cuts, new looks with make-up.

I didn't leave the salon until after 8:00pm. 

And so, I wanted you all to know, yes, I was thinking about you, but the Hair Traffic Controlling gig was winning. 

I am hoping to get all of this under control within the next few weeks. I think back on my mom's advice when the kids were babies, "Twelve weeks. In twelve weeks you will have the routine down." Even though I am essentially doing the same job, I still think I need the 12 weeks.

I'll keep you posted.

It's Friday. Let's dance!

xo

Like any other day
I know I'll find a way
And if ever I'm alone, you say
I'll be thinking about you

http://youtu.be/3Hy8x4iVnvU

If you've been here a while, you know I yo-yo up and down when it comes to my weight. I have said, "No more," at least a dozen times in my life.

Lately though, I have been thinking that my heart needs to win the battle this time, not my head. And so, I might just succeed for good. 

Life is settling into an extremely excellent place, so why not take the time out to take care of my outside since my inside seems to be pretty good these days.

Unlike last year, I won't be droning on and on about this. I will perhaps have the periodic check-in or two, but mostly, I am ready to start taking baby steps, one more time, in the direction of excellent health. 

I don't know anyone who hasn't had to take these steps no matter how they look on the outside to the rest of us. The imprints in our brain make us a little crazy when it comes to food, exercise, and general health. I've known people who overcompensate by taking the eating right and exercise mantra to the other extreme.

So, my hope is that with the boatloads of knowledge I have from every blessed thing I have ever done I will be able to get my shit together once and for all.

xo

THIS video is THE best April Fool's play it forward in the history of April Fool's pranks. Thanks to the many who had on their walls for me to see and Jane who tagged me in it! It embodies everything I love and believe in.
http://youtu.be/p2zUf06iy1A

Today's Music:
I went to Pace University for a year. My second semester there I was the early morning DJ. (You're not all that surprised, are you?) THIS was the very first song I played. I blasted it through the halls and dorms at 6:00 in the morning. The dining hall staff was rocking it that morning; I could see them from the DJ booth which overlooked the dining hall. (During midterms and finals weeks I would put on instrumentals, it was exactly right.)

ANYWAY, I thought when I was thinking about this post last night, I am starting up again. Once more. This time I want to never, never, never stop.

Thanks Mick.

PS - the video is priceless. I do suggest watching it as well as listening to it.

Ride like the wind at double speed
I'll take you places that you've never, never seen

http://youtu.be/SGyOaCXr8Lw

We are ALL a work in progress. We all progress at different speeds and sometimes it seems like we're going in reverse and other times it feels like we're hitting 200 mph from zero to 10 seconds later. I have felt it both ways in the past couple of years.

It's rather fascinating to look back upon.

I sat down this morning with the calendar for the month of April.  April has all the sports. The first game of the baseball season was yesterday; lacrosse got postponed due to muddy fields. There is no way I can be everywhere I want to be this month. It is a physical impossibility and one I have encountered year after year. 

But, this is my first spring season working since my kids have been involved in sports, so I will miss more than I see. I realize I am not the first parent to ever have this dilemma, nor will I be the last. It's just new, to me.

We got through the first week at the salon brilliantly. Our home lives may be in flux but the salon is tremendous. It was exciting and fun and an all together a delightful week. It was late nights and doing stuff out of the salon to work IN the salon, but all in all, it was good.

The Magic Basement is a dismal mess. It is a laundry room. It is a sewing room. It is equal parts: holy shit, I have to pay these bills, Backstage Salon, the remnants of LIVE and slightly gearing up for the Suz Crew event in May. I need a magical housekeeper to come and help me straighten it all out. It is too b-o-r-i-n-g to do it myself.

My kitchen is a filing station and a place to make pasta. No real meals of substance have been made except for maybe once a week since I began working. I will remind you that was last June...

Cara and Candace are having their retreat this coming weekend and I will not be there. Instead, I will be celebrating the seniors at dance at their showcase on Friday night. I will be cheering for Peter under the lights on Saturday evening and I will be listening in awe on Sunday at an event Bella is performing at. Family has to trump self love every so often.

As I work out just how to get this blog written, the stuff I need to do with the businesses, because trust me, TGHR and Backstage go hand in hand, I thank you for putting up with sporadic posts.

I am a work in progress, and you're here to bear witness to it.

xo

So make the best of this task and don't ask why.
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

http://youtu.be/CnQ8N1KacJc

Thank you. ALL of you.

When you make a big, huge, giant announcement, it is over the top fantastic to feel the love, and I did in a big way.

Today I am floating on a cloud after getting a full nights sleep and the sincere wishes of the people in my life.

I need to give a shout out to Kathy today. Kathy has been a hair stylist for many years. Her dream has always been to own a salon. I am proud, honored and privileged to be her partner.

It is a Big. Deal.

Backstage Salon IS Kathy's TGHR. So, I understand what it feels like when something SO unbelievably enormous happens in your life. I get it when you're not sure if you really want a partner. I get the lump in your throat from the thrill of it. I get the stomach in butterfly mode when you get an AMEX bill and you don't even own the place yet.

Partnerships are an interesting phenomenon. We were given sage advice from a number of caring people and we listened. We took it all to heart. We have both a legally binding partnership agreement and I believe, the more important agreement, a morally binding one. Our favorite covenant from that? Only one of us is allowed to be cranky at the same time. It's better for us and it's better for the business to have something so simple, really, be so fundamental to our partnership.

We named our company LI Runway & Co, because we're two Long Island girls hitting our stride the older we get. We've both lived interesting lives. We've done interesting things. Our kids are quite nearly out of the nest.

Kathy's story is remarkable and one of my greatest hopes is to someday have her as a speaker at a TGHR event.

And so, today, I ask you all to give it up for Kathy. A woman who is an extraordinary human being. A woman of tremendous substance. A woman who loves with her whole heart. A woman, who is an example to all who know her. A woman who I worked with first, and then had the privilege to call friend. A woman who is now my partner.

Long may we reign.

xo

PS - the music is old school for me and really, it just started playing in my head before I even started to write this. So, I went with it! Enjoy it.

All I needed was the love you gave 
All I needed for another day 
And all I ever knew 
Only you 

http://youtu.be/r9_HrktOwrk

(go get a beverage, this is gonna take a while...)

THIS is quite a story, let me tell you.

So. Last May, the 4th to be exact, I was at an event at the high school called the Stay-Awake-A-Thon. It's a big fundraiser run by the Leo's (the younger branch of the Lions Club) where all of the monies raised go towards organizations that deal with cancer and it's many affects on a family and community.

ANYWAY, while I was at that event, my friend Marlene asked me if I knew Cindi, the woman who was the receptionist at the salon was moving. As a matter of fact, I did not. Without skipping a beat, I asked if I could have the job. THEN, I found out the hours and changed my mind. Then I thought about it some more and changed it again. And again. Finally, a week or so later I wrote an email; I wanted to give it a whirl.

Bella decided me working at the salon would be an awesome idea. My therapist thought it would be a good idea. Well then, OK...

In early June I interviewed (Mar and I had played email and phone tag for a while there) and I was offered the job. I started the week after Bella went to prom.

If you've been here a while you know I have since changed my title to Hair Traffic Controller or the more professional, Salon Coordinator.

It has been, bar none, the single most difficult position I have ever had to learn - and I have had a lot of jobs. I also consider myself rather bright but let me tell you, there are some days when the job wins and I go home fried.

The women in the place are awesome, fun, creative, and really, just a general delight to be around. Like any group of people that spends more than 35 hours a week together, we have our moments. Most everything can be fixed with some coffee, Motrin and laughter.

I have relationships with each person at the salon, and each relationship is different.

With that said, Kathy and I hit it off because of our Long Island backgrounds and the fact that our sons have known each other since third grade. We see things in a very similar way. Maybe it's our ties to the ocean that we both so love.

Kathy is the one who explained to me about the Oscar worthy performance we must all give each and every day. 

You can be having THE shittiest day on the planet and your clients cannot know. They come to be pampered. They come to be taken care of. They come to be refreshed. YOU know all their secrets. They know relatively little about you...unless they read this blog, and then, well, they love me anyway.

ANYWAY, again, to continue, back in November we had teacher conferences. I was rather concerned about how a certain one of my kids was reacting in school to the occasional bad grade.
(Really Bella, an 88% is bad?!) <-- throwing her under the bus.

For all of her school life, I had been here when she got home, so I was genuinely concerned when her teachers kept mentioning she seemed stressed. I figured I better quit the job. Even Marco agreed that might be the best thing to do. (That's how I knew it was serious!) I went in and mentioned it to Marlene. I cried when I did because as exhausting as the hours are, I really love it.

Then, I mentioned it to Bella. She called me an idiot and told me to keep working. Her brother reminded me they would both be gone in a year and a half so I better have something to do.

Precious, aren't they?

And so I stayed. The hours are still long and I swear, some day I am going to start a tick sheet to see just how many people I speak to in four days. I would bet a full head of highlights and a cut it's more than 450. Always on. Always happy. Always chipper.

I know I have mentioned more than once that cooking is a lost art now. That's the results of this schedule. I don't do it very much and the meals are pretty much all the same. Still, no one is malnourished and they are all doing just fine. Maybe when we can easily get to the bar-b-que we can change things up a bit.

I got through the holidays pretty OK. I wasn't on my A game and Marco is still upset we never got an official Christmas picture, but neither kid has changed all that much in a year so I am fine with it.

The new year rolled in and I was getting ready for some serious excitement.

Six years ago Marlene and Eileen opened up Backstage Salon. It has a terrific reputation. Mar, Eileen, Colleen and Leslie have all been working together for more than 25 years. That's kind of unheard of in this industry. There can be a high turnover rate at a salon. Marlene and Eileen have always treated everyone fairly, they have been kind, so, in turn they get respect and appreciation from the people who work with them. It's a fun business but sometimes, even the owners need a change.

And change was afoot...

Yesterday, Kathy and I became the new owners of Backstage Salon!

We are extraordinarily fortunate that the entire staff will be remaining.

Backstage works and we all know the adage, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. There will be a few enhancements here and there. Effective today, we now accept AMEX, which will make a great many clients swoon with the joy of points. We will also accept Discover - I don't foresee quite as much excitement about that. A computer with a program that will allow online appointments and all customer info at our fingertips is on the top of my list. Some in-house classes to keep the stylists involved in all the latest trends for hair is at the top of Kathy's list. New chairs in the lobby. A few new pieces of art. Perhaps a color smock that will make everyone happy.

We have a new website that is in the very beginning stages. I'd love for you to check it out at www.backstagesaloncroton.com We know it needs pictures. We're going to add a "Did You Know" page to highlight different products, styles, techniques, facials, etc.

We have an Instagram account - you can find us at: backstage_salon07

Of course, we are on Facebook. I would love it if you would come "like" us and share us, too.

We are working on a Pinterest page and I suppose Twitter is not too far behind.

I have remarked on more than one occasion that the salon and TGHR meld together. I have personally delighted from meeting a huge amount of fantastic people and learning about their lives. I have introduced more than a few people to each other. At the salon, it is people doing their best work for other people.

I strive to create community. On any given Sunday there will be a TGHR event in the space that is so utterly beautiful and captivating and elegant I can't wait to share it. I have already been "in talks" with some fabulous women to make a big "meet and greet" happen among like minded people.

I am over the moon excited to partner with Kathy and continue working with such remarkable women.

It is going to be magical.

So there you have it.

Who'd a thunk this in June?!

Here's to the future!

xo

PS - Happy Birthday to my sister Annemarie!

PPS - We raised $33,000 at LIVE! Go us!

PPPS - find Kelly at pak creative

Say everything you've always wanted
Be not afraid of who you really are
'Cause in the end we have each other
And that's at least one thing worth living for
And I will give the world to you

http://youtu.be/27R_goWiAAU

Yesterday's blog piece garnered various reactions:

• OH Yeah (!) you're coming back to the gym
  
• WRITE your book
  
• KEEP blogging
  
• THANKS for blogging

When I wrote it, I was really thinking about how I needed to self start myself, again, into eating better, moving, getting back to yoga, and yes, Jen, getting back to the gym. (For the record it said SHOES, not sneakers!)

I am like a push me-pull me toy. I get it together and then I fall apart. I can usually figure out what's going on that causes me to derail, and this past year is no exception - although to tell you the truth, the crux of it didn't show up in my head until after I wrote this yesterday morning.

I should probably schedule an "emergency" appointment with my therapist to really nail this nonsense down. ::: sigh ::: 

Life. It's really all that, isn't it?

As the quote above states, all the great work begins inside. Baby steps are needed no matter how old and wise you think you are.

Here's to breaking free. We all need to kick start ourselves in some way, shape, or form more often than I suspect we admit.

We owe it to ourselves to find a way to do the work, yes, it's work, from the inside out.

xo

You see, it's all clear
You were meant to be here
From the beginning

http://youtu.be/GWqD7GyJBVM

It's Saturday morning. It has been a LONG week - late nights for the past three days. Coffee is doing it's job on me right now.

Yesterday, Edward Scissorhands was in the salon. OK, not really. But Kathy was all in for new looks. I got one. Three out of four Pinque's do not like it. Me, I love it. Redish purple red with short, funky hair. It's only hair and I am the first person you see when you walk in. I should have fun hair. And I think it's fun. Yeah, yeah - I'll try to get a picture taken today.

Then there was a client who totally changed her look last night. I advised her to keep her eyes closed until the big reveal. She cried tears of happiness when she opened her eyes.

It was not confetti on the floor (see today's FB post) but hair. Everywhere. A lot of it. Productivity at it's finest.

Here's to Saturday. At the salon today we will be working for the weekend. It starts when the last client leaves.

Here's to color and cuts - they change you from the outside in.

xo

You know this is the truth.
Everybody's working for the weekend

http://youtu.be/ahvSgFHzJIc

I happen to know that 2014 will be bringing me a myriad of changes; most of them are very exciting.

Peter will head to college and although he is out and about a lot of the time, he is still "here." I know I will miss him, and yet, I also know this is his time; to spread his wings and learn how to fly.

Bella will be but a short year behind him. ::: sigh :::

I have learned that I never know what will happen from day to day. Small adjustments, little speed bumps, big hurdles - the stuff that keeps us on our toes. 

Phone calls. emails, texts, sitting with a colleague at work, discussions at the dinner table - each interaction with another person brings with it the prospect of something new or different or even life altering. How I roll with it affects everything.

Today I am headed to work for the first time in forever with the threat of "blizzard like conditions after dark." It is, upon reflection, the first time since my kids were in day care that I am commuting on a day like today. All of my other jobs have either been out of my house or at a place where closing for the day was not a big deal. 

I have learned, hair matters. People WILL come out no matter what the weather to get their hair done. 

And so, with my boots on, an ice scraper at the ready and a plan to drive VERY slowly, I wish YOU all a safe commute, a marvelous day and positive thoughts about embracing change.

xo

Make a wish. Take a chance. Make a change.

http://youtu.be/c-3vPxKdj6o