For example, writing is something I have done on and off for years.
Then, two years ago, someone called me out about a blog I thought I was going to start writing. I never did. I had a million excuses why I didn't write it.
Was I ready to bare my soul? No. Was I ready to commit to the practice of writing nearly every day? No. Was I ready for criticism? No. Perspective shows me it was fear.
In my teens, I shared my writing. There are a few journals filled with the angst of being young, confused, in love, out of love, in love, out of love, in love. Along with responses from my friends TO the writing.
And then the journals stop.
My best guess on the sudden stop is that I was really in love for the first time in my life. I poured every blessed emotion out to him in letters and notes and cards and small pieces of paper that said, "I love you" which I would leave on the windshield of his truck.
There was, of course, a break up.
I continued to write, just not in journals. Again, perspective shows me I wasn't ready to be honest with myself; journal writing forces you to confront the chaos in your head. (At least that's how I feel now.)
I was a great writer of notes and letters. No one loved a Hallmark store more than me. In turn, I was equally a receiver of many notes and letters.
A couple of years ago I went through a bunch of them. So many memories. I had forgotten just how many I saved. I placed them all back in their respective file folders through smiles and tears, not quite ready to really read them again and not quite ready to throw them out.
And then I decided, a little over a year ago, to take a leap of faith.
This blog - oh this was out of my comfort zone for sure.
A few times I have gone back and read the earlier posts and I can see how my writing has changed over the course of the year.
I am more willing to be honest. I am more willing to put my feelings out there in cyber space. I am more willing to let my fingers fly across the keyboard and say what they need to.
It has been a great lesson in going outside of my comfort zone. I still edit. I still decide if what I want to say is too much. I delete things all the time. I protect other peoples' feelings at all costs. I protect my own heart when I need to.
So this year, I am looking to create more magic. It will require going out of my comfort zone, that safe place here in my basement where I hide out. I know, from all my past life experiences, that the first step really IS the hardest. I can't even say for sure that my big toe is poised for that step. I just know I have to go for it.
Will YOU join me?
I'll let you know when I put on my shoes.
xo
I'm hearing secret harmonies
It's a kind of magic,
The bell that rings inside your mind,
Is challenging the doors of time
http://youtu.be/YWf5BLUOhNM