EVERY time I gather with women, Every. Time. I love the sense of community that is created. Sunday, February 15 was a bitter, cold, icy day, and yet, women from all over joined Kacey, Demitra and I for a day of self love.

This was our second foray into a day like this and oh, my, goodness, what a day.

Kacey hosted this month - frankly, as much as I love the salon, Shine On, her Reiki studio, has a much better flow for this type of event.

(Note to the Universe: seriously, I need a real live building for The Glass House Retreat sooner rather than later. Pleaseandthankyou.)

Kacey's space glistens with sunlight. The floors are a warm wood. There is a great place for food (the space once housed a restaurant, so there is a bar area), and there are 3 bathrooms. BONUS!

Right here, right now, I must give a shout out to Kacey's sister, Maria, for "loving the space up." Although she might have missed the actual day, her blood - literally, her daughter, HaleyJane, played live music for us, Maria's sweat, and her goodness, coupled with her eye for beauty, was evident throughout the space every where you looked.

We tightened our timeline this go round. We streamlined the food. We shortened our talks. We really DID dance this time, as opposed to January when it was in the program but we were all too tired to dance by the end. Again, the space allowed this to happen so fantastically.

We experienced chair yoga. For a girl with a wonky elbow it was all too perfect. It got our blood moving without having us sweat. All love goes out to Kathie Scanlon for the chair yoga.

Demitra, THE Queen of Prayers to the Universe, blessed our day.

Kacey, an exquisite inspirational speaker, shared her experiences of dating herself. It was, as expected, quite hilarious. It was also, as expected, profound and beautiful. After reading a wonderful essay, Kacey had us fill out hearts with something we love about ourselves. We collected them and then Kacey, Demitra, Kathie and I read them out loud. LOOK at them. They are glorious.

Demitra spoke about each astrological sign. Some of the nuggets I took away:

• Everything is love or a call for love
  
• I am love
  
• Love made me
  
• I am a child of love
  
• Dare to give yourself to the world
  
• Dare to pour the love on yourself
  
• Love is in the details
  
• There is no greater wisdom than kindness

The three of us manage to weave our stories together to the point that some of our exact sentiments are mirrored in each others talks. It is uncanny and more than a little special!

I opened by reading this card my dad gave me on my birthday MANY years ago. 

I spoke about how learning to love yourself can be your greatest gift and strength. I had everyone listen to the song, "Colours" by Margo Rey that I had on the blog last week. Then I reminded everyone that they are absolutely amazing and to own it.

We broke for lunch.

This colorful and delicious meal was catered by Bob and Loren at B&L Deli in Cold Spring. The quinoia was divine. I could have eaten the whole bowl!

Not to worry, there was lots of dark chocolate! Nary a piece was left by the end of the day. We do love our chocolate.

Kathie came back and filled the room with love and laughter by having all of us do the breath of joy! Perfect.

After lunch Kacey led us in an exercise where we wrote a love letter to ourselves. It was a fill in the blank letter so it made it doable. We will all get it mailed to ourselves within the next few weeks.

And then, we cleared the floor and were introduced to Ken Daley, a teacher from The World GROOVE Movement. Ken led us in a structured but totally unstructured half hour of simple dancing with a purpose. Dancing from your heart and soul. When the song, "Lean On Me" came on we did. We leaned on each other while belting out the words to the song. It. Was. Powerful. AND fun! The room glowed with love and good energy.

The beautiful and talented Janel Morrisey, also a groover (who spoke Ken's name and he walked in the door!) and owner of FABU Fitness, closed the dancing with a beautiful and simple prayer and a namaste.

I hope you can get a sense of the love, of the beauty, of the nourishment for your SOUL, of the thought we put into these wonderful events. We want it to be something that moves you. That brings YOU joy. We want it to be an event you look forward to attending - by yourself (you now know you will make friends) or with your own tribe.

Music today: WHAT a version of this song! Listen to it!

When I wrote my blog yesterday, I didn't set out to write it as a "Let's let Maggie know we care," post. But it sure turned into that! I was uplifted in ways I didn't even know I needed to be.

• My FB messenger buzzed
  
• My texts buzzed
  
• My cell phone rang
  
• My home phone rang
  
• I had comments on the blog!  (That is so exciting to a blogger!)
  
• FB comments and likes were off the hook

I wrote it to empower myself, and you.

Women are amazing people.

I am always astounded by the mean girl mentality. It starts at such a young age and unless we, as the adults, nip it in the bud, it grows and festers somehow, allowing women to bring each other down.

NO ONE wants to be bullied. NO ONE. Big Girl Bullies (thanks for that, Susan) are not welcome to be a part of my life or be in my salon.

Kathy and I have worked hard to create a place of joy. Where "uniforms" are not worn by the staff. Where WHO you are is so much more important that HOW YOU LOOK. (And frankly, I think we all look marvelous there, despite opinions to the contrary.)

FEELING beautiful, and valued, and important, and loved is how we want you to leave. We want you to come back for THAT feeling. And, of course, because you just had the best haircut or color or facial, evah!

If you look to the right of my blog page you will see I wrote, "Salon Owner ~ beauty from the inside out." I mean that.

So thank you. ALL of you who took the time to let me know I matter and who I am is A-OK.

Music today courtesy of Kacey. She DJ's in real life and she DJ'd on my FB wall yesterday with THIS song.

xo

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstable
I am young but I am able

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends that love me
And they know where I stand
It's all a part of me
That's who I am

http://youtu.be/Jd9zYKLepCw

So, you all know I bought Backstage Salon with my partner Kathy last March, right?

You also know I slipped out of a pair of flip flops in June and did some serious damage to my elbow.

If you've been reading along here for a while, you know about my never ending struggle of "healing with food."

If you know me in real life, the words, "timid, shy, quiet, or retiring" would never be words used to describe me.

The past several months have issued me more than a few challenges. Some personal. Some professional.

That's life, of course. It does that to you.

Bear in mind, Mercury has been in retrograde since January 21. Thankfully is ends on the 11th.

In the past month I have been described as unprofessional for something I wrote in the Backstage Newsletter. I stand by what I wrote.

I have been advised that a client stopped coming to the salon because I introduced her to the woman sitting next to her. Apparently I said, "you two could be friends." One of the women chatted the entire time and the other woman wanted to get work done. I don't understand why that couldn't have been conveyed in an easy, "Hey, it's nice to meet you, but I've got work to do." 

I am still trying to figure out how on earth the client not coming back could possibly be my fault, but I will own it, as I DO introduce people to each other in the lobby. I think it makes it nice when you see the same person month after month to at least be able to exchange a pleasant greeting. 

This past Friday, Kathy was asked to speak to me.

A client told her she was asked to be a spokesperson for a group of clients and she wanted Kathy to know how they felt about me.

• I am not "professional looking"
  
• I chew gum on the phone - guilty now and again
  
• I am loud - if you have been coming to the salon since I was hired this should not come as a surprise
  
• I sing - absolute truth
  
• I dance - indeed I do
  
• I don't wear enough makeup - I think I wear enough
  
• I dress too casually - have you MET me?
  
• I keep people on hold too long  - yep, that's been known to happen. I always take care of the people standing in front of me, that's equally important.

Kathy was horrified. From a human being point of view and from a partner and friend's point of view.

I, on the other hand, was remarkably calm. I think it has to do with getting older and wiser. Life is short, and I AM GOING TO LIVE IT.

We love and loathe in other people that which we love and loathe in our own selves. (Thanks for that, mama!)

I cannot make everyone like me.
I cannot make everyone happy.

But I will be goddamned if I am going to let the words of others cut me down.

After Kathy spoke to me on Friday I will admit I shut down a little. I deflated. Then I made the decision to be quiet and still on Saturday. It freaked my co-workers out a little. I HATED answering the phone quietly. I hated not singing. I hated not dancing.

And you know what, it allowed me to take ownership of the salon.

I was not there when it opened originally. I don't play by the rules made before I owned it.

I will never be anyone other than who I am. If you don't like it, too. fucking. bad.

I am not mean.
I am not rude.
I don't cut people down.
I don't belittle people.

If being introduced to the person next to you allows you to connect on a human level, I will not apologize.

If you don't like how the owner behaves, I can assure you there are at least fifty salons in the area who might be better suited to your personality.

I am SO proud of how Kathy and I have continued to build this business up as ours. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the number of my friends who support me and our business by coming to our salon.

It is a sad day when another woman feels it is OK to put down another woman who is doing the very best she can with what she's got. Over superficial stuff.

I hope my daughter views me as a strong, loving woman who cares about all people but especially as a woman who builds up other women.

xo

Music today: Thank you to Mary DeTurris Poust. Wow. Just wow, what a song.

I close my eyes and tell myself
When I feel judged by someone else
That love, love, love
Begins with me

I dig in deep and must reveal
The secret for my heart to heal
No lies, lies, lies
Or make believe
But my stones and sticks,
I pitch ‘em quick
And get in the way of myself again

And then I say

I am not afraid 
I know how to be brave
Cause in the best and worst of days
My colours never fade

Bitter words can't stain
Wash out or strip away
In a million shades of gray 
My colours never fade
Fade

Mending all my imperfections
Unravels me in all directions
And its hard, hard, hard

So hard to breathe
Can't pave my road with good intentions
Frightened by my own inventions
Oh, when, when, when will I believe

So brick by brick
I lay it thick
And paint up my face for the world again

And then I sing

I am not afraid
I know how to be brave
In the best and worst of days
My colours never fade
Impossible they say
The odds cannot be played
But my dreams come true in spades

When my colours never 
Fade, fade
Brighten my way
To a better day
Never fade, fade away, fade away

I am not afraid 
I know how to be brave
And in the best and worst of days
My colours never fade

Bitter words can't stain
Wash out or strip away
Cause in a million shades of gray 
My colours never fade
Impossible they say
The odds cannot be played
But my dreams come true in spades
When my colours never fade
I am not afraid 
I know how to be brave
In the best and worst of days
my colours never fade
Never fade

http://youtu.be/1iGmBXPxr0Y

The great trip and fall of 2014, coupled with buying the salon, really messed with my blogging. When you are healing, there really isn't a whole lot to share. It is numbingly boring.

Behold:
(this is for more than a few days in a row)

• Get up.
  
• Make coffee. Drink coffee. 
  
• Make breakfast. Eat breakfast.
  
• Go to OT.
  
• Go to Stop & Shop/A&P/Cole's Market.
  
• Call Jeannie. Call Kathy. Call my mom.
  
• Do laundry.
  
• Go to work.
  
• Talk to 200 people.
  
• MAYBE cook dinner.
  
• blah - blah - blah
  

And so, on Superbowl Sunday (no, I didn't watch the game or the commercials) I caught up on all the blogs I love so much and on my friend Margo Kelly's I read about the A to Z Challenge. 

THIS is something SO up my alley. AND, it is a reason to write every day again. Something I really DO love to do.

What's it about, you might wonder?

I have more than a few friends who write brilliant blogs and this might be something you too would like to participate in! If so, click HERE to sign up.

So, although the pickings have been slim on this blog for a while, it's nice to know I'm gearing up for a bit of April musings.

xo