So, yesterday, as you know, I went back to work. I was still in the quasi blissful eyes half closed focused three feet in front of me state that is retreatville.

The first client in the door got an earful of wonderfulness. And then I showed her the tired dog yoga pose. (Thanks, Cara!)

The first stylist in the house saw me bowed down in front of our first client. It was hilarious.

I charged a client $1,600.00 for a bottle of shampoo. That should have been $16.

I danced in my chair. I danced out of my chair.

Yep. Retreat Hangover. No alcohol involved. Just the leftover remains of all that love.

Happy Halloween! Next up...candy hangover.

xo

If there's a cure for this
I don't want it

http://youtu.be/niEYaeYa72U

I had an amusing thought this morning as I was showering. When I am on retreat you will never see me with make-up on. I bring it. But I don't put it on; there will be no glamour shot of me. It is the polar opposite of my job, where you will never see me without make-up.

Last year I met up with a guy friend. I hadn't seen him in a long time and so, of course, I wanted to look good. I was happy with my outfit. I was surprised with how happy I was with my hair. And of course, I spent some time applying my make-up. 

Now, you should know I am not terribly good at the whole "getting made-up" thing. I rarely use foundation, I use powder. I can't say I am remotely close to being an expert at doing my eyes. It was never something I was all that interested in playing with. My sister Annemarie was quite the primper back in the day and so it was no surprise when she became a Mary Kay consultant. Despite her lessons, I am still rather lame at all of this. (As an FYI, her daughter also works at a salon and spa and is registered to begin "beauty school" in February.) I work with people who literally look beautiful all day long. More often than not, I could use a quick reminder to put on some lipstick.

Sooo, when my friend asked me why women "paint" themselves with make-up I was a little taken aback as well as a little hurt. I had taken my time to look good "for" him and he didn't get it. I called him on the comment and his answer was that of every father to their daughters as they enter the teen years, "You look beautiful no matter what." 

::: sigh ::: 

This was, of course, an excellent answer. This is a guy who knew me in my teenage years when I was that skinny girl back in the picture HERE. He loved me then and he loves me now and it truly doesn't matter if I have make-up on or not. He wanted to have lunch and visit, what I looked like was secondary to him. For the record, he did not put on make-up.

In any event, I suppose that make-up makes me the grown up version of myself. The one who goes to work and helps put a little money in the family coffers. The unmade up me is the grown up version of myself who keeps my family in check by taking care of myself.

Today, I head back to the salon. Painted. But the truth is, my heart likes knowing my unmade up self is the one making a difference in this world. My unmade up self is the one my friends and family see the most, and hey, they love me with or without eyeliner.

xo

Back to life, back to reality
Back to the here and now yeah

http://youtu.be/TB54dZkzZOY

The rules are of the retreat are easy. There are no rules. 

And so began four and half days of rediscovering the creative, joyful, ME.

So.

As I mentioned 10 years ago (Thursday, that's a retreat joke), I read about this retreat, followed along waiting for the sign up, and then absolutely had to be in on it! Why?

Writing: something I think I do fairly well, but certainly something I can always improve upon, facilitated by Jen Louden. I mean seriously, what wasn't to love? The woman herself is a dynamo of joy and strength and truth telling.

Photography: something I don't do very well because: 1) I forget to bring a camera, 2) I forget there's a camera on my phone, or 3) I can't be bothered to take a picture because I am participating in the event. The good fortune to be able to learn that EVERYDAY life experiences are art from an award winning, professional photographer, Tracey Clark, was perfect!

Yoga: something I am SO glad is called a practice, because that is what it takes. Practice, practice and more practice. Can I tell you just how awesome it is to hear the instructions in a New Zealand accent from the renowned Zen Peacekeeper herself, Marianne Elliot. Her movements are grace and beauty and a treat for the eyes to watch. Plus, when she dances, she radiates from within to the outside. It is a sight to see.

There is a lot that goes into the details of a retreat. I have learned this from the few I have been on so far. Things that make it uniquely THAT retreat. Of course the facilitators are key, but it is THEIR touches added to it that make it remarkable.

The combined creatvity of these three women made it so there were special handmade, heartfelt touches everywhere we looked. They said, "Hi. Welcome. It's fantastic to have you here. Stay. Breathe. Be. Joy awaits you."

It began with the bear hug from Jen as you walked into the dining hall, to the calm that follows Marianne everywhere she goes, to Tracey's complete enthusiasm for life. You knew, without a shadow of a doubt, you were in for a great time.

And then there were the women. From ALL over this vast great country, as well as Canada, Switzerland, New Zealand and England - enjoying the beauty of my neck of the woods. Witnessing autumn in all her glory and overlooking my beloved Hudson River.

AH (!), the women. Oh. My. Word. The beautiful women. With different stories, and different paths, and different reasons for being there, and yet, all with the same exact reason for being there. To find our Creative Joy. 

I discovered an interesting thing about myself while there. In order to find the joy, I had to experience pain and sadness and anger. I needed to cry. I needed to laugh and I needed to feel the love. In a room with more than 40 women it felt intimate. It was like a womb. We were safe. We were valued. We were validated. There was laughter and chocolate. There were signs posted throughout the Meditation Hall with words to uplift us and ultimately create smaller, more intimate groups from the many. I had sat in a chair with a card with the word breathe on it. That introduced me to my intimate group within the womb.

My small group of wonderful women consisted of five women from Brooklyn, NY, New Jersey, California and England. 

We listened. We wept. We nodded. We hugged. We kissed. We were, as I called us, Soul Sisters of Breath. Love across cyber space to Jenny, Judy Anne, Karen and Susan. xoxo You KNOW how I love you all.

Each day I delighted in breakfast, lunch and dinner prepared so beautifully the ingredients sang. I tried very hard to talk to every person who was there, either at the meals or in the great room on our floor. I love to know the stories. I love to share my story. Naturally, I was the one who would inevitably run out of time when it was my turn to share during our small group times.

We danced. I missed two days and took the photo above from my room feeling equally sad I was missing it and at the same time, so unbelievably grateful to be able to watch the graceful, silent ballet taking place before my very eyes.

I practiced meditation and yoga. There is a legitimate reason it is called practice. It is hard. It is easy. It is SO good for you. It is the perfect way to calm your overrun mind. It is a lifelong practice. I am still in the infancy stage.

I chanted. There's a sentence I didn't think I'd ever write. Click HERE to go to the chant we did.

I took pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. I took over 200 - really? Me? In just four days. I was a picture taking fool. Couple that with the Instagram instruction and I was like a kid in the candy shop. Well, except for the short time my "fucking iPhone was stuck on video." Thank goodness for Google, even while on a retreat.

And I wrote. And I wrote. And I wrote some more. And I listened to the pieces of the other women. And I cried. And I laughed.

I met Lain, who left a day early. I truly felt like a part of me left when she did. I suspect we will be friends, at the very least in cyber land, for a long time. She is that special.

I met Rachel, young, beautiful, vibrant, amazing, wonderful. Tapping into Creative Joy eons before so many of us do.

I met Steph, who is forging a path for herself that is so awesome and brave I marvel at her and send her blessings for the most exciting times to come.

I met Marnie, who has a compassion and kindness that is deep in her soul.

I met Aggy whose, "Good morning Maggie" filled me with joy each day as she said it. And, who sent me a Facebook message this morning with those same words; they filled me with happiness and made my eyes fill up.

I met Jane whose artwork and smile light up a room, whose generous spirit and soul embody creative joy.

I got to meet Sue Ann, who I know from Facebook and now I know in real life.

I met Lisa and Linda within minutes of arriving as we all schlepped our bags up to the third floor while realizing that maybe we packed a little too much.

I met Danielle who hails from New Zealand but has landed in NYC for now. A gorgeous soul from the inside out.

I met Alison and Jen and Erin and Lesley and Toby and Gail and Wendy and Christina and Annie and Isabel and Holly and Cindy and Dena and Kirsten and Linda and Joyce and Sharron and Zee and three different Kathryn's, I think, all spelled differently.

I reconnected with Anne! I loved meeting her wife Connie AND, they live but 20 minutes away from me.

I know I am going to miss someone and for that I feel awful - so I send you ALL love and light and blessings!

On our last morning, we walked the labyrinth in silence. I basked in the sunshine with the sound of a helicopter circling above. The leaves rustled in the wind while the bamboo created chimes of their own volition. 

I took pictures of the beautiful women. The picture of Sue Ann on the bottom right remains one of my very favorites. I saw Jen standing very close by to me and I needed, utterly needed to hug her. To thank her. To send quiet wishes of gratitude and love. This is her lifework and she does it spectacularly. 

As I left the field, I connected with Masha, who said, "My legs feel like they are going to give out on me." I replied, "Well then, I will hold you up," and we walked like lovers towards the front where we blew bubbles for everyone else as they returned. It. Was. Magical.

The closing ceremony was one of the most uplifting, spiritual, generous events I have ever been privy to being a part of. There was not a dry eye to be found; all I could do was marvel at being at exactly the right place, with exactly the right people, at exactly the right time.

The upside to being at a retreat 16 minutes away from home is that you can take your time getting there and still be there with plenty of time to spare. The downside is that your reentry to "real life" has no decompression time. I handled that by heading to Sam's and picking up a rotisserie chicken for dinner. Because really, doesn't heading towards a Super Walmart sound like the perfect plan when you have just left a life changing experience?

My deepest gratitude, love, admiration, and sincere thanks to everyone who participated in the Creative Joy Retreat 2013. You women are astounding, mystical, beautiful, worthy, amazing people and I am honored to have shared time with you. Jen, Marianne and Tracey ~ you each took home a piece of my heart and I yours. I am profoundly and deeply moved to have been a part of this. My love from NY to each of you. xo

PS - YOU. Yes you. Find yourself a retreat and do this FOR yourself. You'll live longer. I mean it. 

If you're going to dance in the mountains, it's nice to pay homage to it.

http://youtu.be/jiWY8naGyNI

Last year, when the thought of possibly creating TGHR was just a glimmer in my mind, I began doing research on retreats. I found quite a few marvelous books by Jennifer Louden, which I promptly purchased.

Then, as you may recall, I went back to school and had to write a godforsaken research paper, in MLA format, because I couldn't graduate unless I knew how to do that. Fine. Rest assured I will NEVER have to do that again. 

ANYWAY, I decided I wanted to write about creating retreats, which led me to contact Jen. Well, THAT idea was kaboshed because it wasn't a biographical paper and I had to go with Plan B. (BTW, I didn't have a Plan B when it was kaboshed...) 

Still, Jen and I ultimately connected via email and a very informative one-on-one coaching session I had with her.

While researching all things about Jennifer Louden and her retreats I read about this amazing retreat she and two other women facilitated in 2012. THEN I saw they were doing it again in 2013. THEN I saw they were doing it 20 minutes from my house! (It was a sign, of course...) 

A Creative Joy Retreat?! I knew I had to be a part of this.

I signed up for the email for early registration and I was all in by February.

THIS IS THE WEEKEND IT ALL HAPPENS, PEOPLE!

So, for the first time in TGHR blog history, I am going off the grid. I am on a digital detox. I am NOT writing a blog or posting on FB or tweeting or anything at all remotely connected to "work."

I am off to create some joy. I will be doing yoga. I will be writing. I will be learning how to use my iPhone camera and Instagram. I will be eating purely vegetarian food and I will be one with the views from the Garrison Institute. I am thrilled to be a part of this as it has been announced this will be the last time Jen is facilitating this retreat. Karma.

I'll be back here Tuesday. Keep sharing the love that is TGHR - the Facebook page went over 500 likes this morning. Grateful and humbled and delighted!

xo

Music, aptly titled, "Love Me."

Beautiful, quiet, creatively joyous piano piece.

http://youtu.be/jSvxE5eIUIQ

Yesterday, as you recall, I wrote about a picture my friend Pat sent me. Go ahead. Look down. I included it in today's blog since there were people who wanted to see it.

I know.

It's a whole different me.

What I know about myself is that my body is in direct correlation to my mindset. When I am fit, I am in a good place. When I am not so fit, I am not in a great mental state. Despite an amazing therapist.

I know this about myself.

It gets frustrating watching myself gain and lose and gain and lose the same weight over and over. The first time I ever went to Weight Watchers, I was in my mid 20's.

When I was 22, I married a man who was utterly and completely wrong for me. We were diabolically different; we didn't share a lot of the same passions, he was stoned for a good portion of our marriage. I didn't love him the way I should have. It was destined to fail.

We got married on the island of Jamaica and as I walked down the path towards him I can clearly remember the words, "what the fuck am I doing?!" going through my head. 

On our third anniversary, I told him I wanted to get divorced. He said, "But I have tickets to Cats." So, we ate dinner at Charlie Brown's and went to see Cats. I can't say it was an amicable divorce, but it certainly wasn't brutal. We had no kids. We sold the house we built. I moved to Edison, New Jersey because I had dear friends who lived there. I rented an apartment that was brand spanking new and reasonable. I cut my commute by two and half hours!

I was, as you are now so aware (if you've been reading for a while), in love with love. The lessons I took away from this were:

• Go to Jamaica for a vacation, not a wedding ceremony.
  
• If you are walking down the aisle and your gut screams "NO!" - stop. It doesn't matter how much it has cost. Just stop.
  
• If you want a reception, you CAN do so without having a reception. Throw a kick-ass party and call it done.
  
• When you know you are marrying the wrong the person and you are waiting for the right one to read your mind and come back to stop you from doing this and save you from yourself, stop. He can't. Read your mind, that is. Pick up the phone and tell him. See if it really is too late for a relationship to rekindle. If it was that passionate to start, it might easily get that passionate again. Or not. I will never know as I didn't do that.
  

And so began my eating patterns. Food fixed everything. Temporarily. When you are unhappy with how you look it affects EVERY part of you. In my case, I often don't even realize I am in that downward spiral of food vs. me until I look into the mirror one morning and literally gasp. Then of course I get pissed off at myself. And play the tomorrow game in my head. (I will start eating right and exercising again, tomorrow...) It. Sucks. And I swear, each and every time, I will not go down THAT path again.

::: sigh :::

It's an ugly cycle. I think what makes it even uglier is I watch myself doing this like I am watching from above. It's not like anyone besides me does the food shopping. If there's crap in the house, rest assured I brought it in. If I cook food that is not optimal for my health, what am I going to do? Fire the chef? If I stop exercising, even under doctor's orders, but then I don't get my ass back in gear, whose fault is it? The doctor's? Of course not.

And once again, I lose THAT girl. The one in the picture who is begging to come back to life.

I am not so naive to think I can be her ever again. Time, circumstances, children, life lessons, have made that impossible. But I will do my very best to get close to her.

Thank you for being along for this ride. I really am doing what I can to love who I have been, who I am, and who I am becoming. Sincerely. I appreciate the companionship. xo

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life.

http://youtu.be/ocDlOD1Hw9k

Recently, my friend Pat sent me a picture of me standing next to my high school when I was probably 15*. Several thoughts went through my head:

• Holy shit, I was skinny
  
• Those are some short shorts
  
• I apparently began my love of solid v-neck shirts young
  
• OH those glasses...
• Perms were big on straight haired girls in the '70's
• I looked utterly carefree
  

* UPDATE: It turns out the picture was taken at the end of 11th grade which makes me 17.

THAT GIRL.

She's the one I am working on finding again.

I wouldn't say I was ever wild, per se. Of course, the only real thing I had to be concerned about at 15 was school, and frankly, unlike the two who I gave birth to, I was a pretty relaxed student. THAT might explain why it took me until I was 51 to graduate college.

Somewhere along the line, I lost that girl.

She makes appearances now and then.

I dance in the hair salon to some eye rolling and giggling. Sometimes, I can get Colleen to join me. There is nothing stuffy about Backstage when dance music comes on. Hey, what's the point of the giant disco ball hanging from the ceiling if we don't dance?

I occasionally dance around the house and I can assure you, the eye rolling is FAR worse than at the salon, with the words, "Mom. Stop. Stop mom. JUST. STOP." Naturally, this makes me want to do it even more.

I sing in the car. I find myself singing in the shower. I will burst into a line or two at work. (As an aside, yesterday, "You Light Up My Life" came on and I went right back to my youth. I did, however, giggle that it was playing on the station we had on at the salon.)

Today, be your wild self. Who cares if someone rolls their eyes.

She's a wild one
With an angel's face
She's a woman-child
In a state of grace

http://youtu.be/WifpCsOQ3JM

Today, forget about what anyone else thinks and just be amazing.

That's it!

Until tomorrow...
xo

Aren't we all just drifting into being amazing?

http://youtu.be/BfF4QLO-L_4

Take a Sunday, add some sunshine, throw in some music, nibble on snacks, combine all that with the talent of an entire staff PLUS their kids and you have an awesome event.

The 2nd annual Cut-A-Thon was a marvelous success! We are excited to announce we will make a $3,000 donation to Support Connection. One of our clients said they loved that a small community business was doing something so wonderful within the community FOR the community.

We pulled door prizes throughout the day and had wonderful raffles. The basket items were donated from the salon, ShopRite, DePrez Wines & Spirits, and our hair care supplier.

Music was provided by DJ Johnny G from Ossining.

In other news:

• Jeannie rocked her 10k. Go Jeannie! 
  
• My friend Cindy participated in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer - 39.3 miles in two days. Go Cindy, go!
  
• My friend Denise walked for Autism. Go Denise!
  

Doing for others is something that will always make you feel fantastic.

The fabulous dinner at the end of the night was an added bonus. There is nothing like ending an event with tears, laughter and love. (Right, Cara?!)

I hope your weekend was equally terrific. xo

Music from Rob - humanitarian. You're welcome, CCT.

All the people in this world 
Let's come together 
More than ever 
I can feel it 
Can you feel it 
Come on over

http://youtu.be/RJyr4DzbESM

Today, Bella and I are headed to the hair salon. Each of the employees and many of our kids will be on hand for the second annual Cut-A-Thon.

For the record, Bella will be braiding hair. Ashley, Kathy's daughter will be putting in pink hair extensions. Michelle and Nicole will be washing your hair. Every single stylist: Leslie, Mirene, Eileen, Colleen, Kathy, Shelley and Carol will be styling. Marlene will be waxing. Mary will be at the desk with me.

The DJ will be keeping us dancing. The snacks will give us strength. And if you don't need any kind of hair styling done, come buy a raffle for $5.00 to put in your choice of fantabulous raffles. OH (!) And we have some AG products on hand for just $5.00 that are the PERFECT size for traveling.

What's a Cut-A-Thon? It is a fundraiser for a local organization called the Support Connection. ALL of the proceeds from the entire days events will be donated back to this organization which provides emotional, social, and financial support for women and their families battling breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

Do you have to cut off eight to ten inches of hair for an organization like "Locks for Love?" NO! As a matter of fact, you wouldn't want to do that today as that appointment takes at least an hour and we don't charge for that, ever.

HOWEVER, you can get any number of services today and be assured that the entire amount is being donated. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Today is a busy day around Croton. Notably, the Harry Chapin Run For Hunger 10k is happening. I would like to wish my friend Jeannie a GREAT run! She has been training hard and I hope she has fun. Of course, it's Sunday so that means church, yard sales, soccer, family. If you have time, come see us!

Music Today: 
Ah, Harry. THIS is an awesome song. THIS version is spectacular.
We Buckley's went to a lot of his concerts. 
Thanks for that, Mama. xo

All my life's a circle, sunrise and sundown
Moon rolls through the night-time till the daybreak comes around
All my life's a circle I can't tell you why
Seasons spinning round again, the years keep rolling by

http://youtu.be/kvo1uIJwWRw

I write about what's happening in my world.
I write about what's going on in my head.
I do tend to write all kinds of "feel good" stuff. 

I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
Yeah with every broken bone
I swear I lived

http://youtu.be/jIC6upazD6c

So. It's been a week people, hasn't it? I feel like a whirlwind of emotions have gone up one side of my body and then down the other. And the emotions have run the gamut, let me tell you. I can say in all honesty there haven't been a ton of negative feelings or thoughts - it's mostly been all good; but they have been in your face emotions. I think things that may have been hidden way down deep in my subconscious decided to make a break for it and join me in the real world. Bastards.

Part of this upheaval may be due to the VERY strong full moon today. If you are affected by the lunar cycles, hold onto your hat and prepare for an emotional rattling. If this is something that interests you, there are many different places to read up on this; I really enjoyed THIS write up. (Thanks, Cate.)

So, if you too were up, down, side to side, emotionally wacky this week, welcome. I am glad for the company.

Yesterday on my Facebook page I wrote the following status.

When I checked on the page stats this morning, more than 950 people checked out this website yesterday. That. Is. Awesome. Thank you all so much for sharing me. I am just hanging out here in the Magic Basement doing my thing. I know my words touch people because I get texts, emails, FB messages, face to face conversations, and comments here on the blog, I so greatly appreciate them all. As many of you have figured out, I sometimes take FROM your worlds and add it to mine. That adds to the richness of the community and strengthens TGHR. I LOVE knowing that people from every decade of my life read this blog - and for the record, it's not just women, which REALLY thrills me. I love knowing there are people reading who I don't know. All of that might have scared me in the past, but, I have found, THE single best thing for me to do is to write for myself. That keeps me honest and allows me to always speak from my heart. My deepest thanks. xo

It's Friday people. Let's dance!

Life's a game made for everyone
And love is the prize

http://youtu.be/5y_KJAg8bHI

I have a friend who wrote the following on Facebook last night, "I've come to the conclusion that I don't know what the heck I'm doing, where I'm going or how I'm going to get there, but I will do it and with a smile."

To that, I say, AMEN.

It seems very few things in life happen in the time frame we want, plan or hope for. We make plans, the universe laughs. Each experience we have - the good, the bad, the ugly - prepares us for all of the adventures awaiting us.

The word YET is such a powerful word; equally powerful is NOT YET. For me, this week (fine, year) has really been about living in the moment. But isn't there a part of us that always wonders what's coming next? It's the "yet" moments. For example, I want TGHR to have it's own building, but I don't have enough money saved, yet.

How many people want to move forward with parts of their lives, but they can't until:

• they have enough money (and will we ever?)
  
• they have the time to do so
• the kids are headed to college (that's a HUGE yet)
  
• this or that bill is paid off
  
• they lose 10 pounds
  

It's the ever popular carrot, dangling in front of our faces. I get all the yets. I've used them myself. Sometimes in life, we really DO have to just deal with our circumstances and when the time is right for something to happen, according to all the reading I've done, it will happen. 

I love my friends attitude. Go forth with a smile and make what you can make happen while anticipating the yet to come.

Here's to all our YETs. xo

No, I don't know where I'm going
But, I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again

http://youtu.be/i3MXiTeH_Pg

Yesterday, I had a discussion about living in the moment. Like yoga, like reading cards, it is a practice, and only by living this way can we put the walk to the talk.

When our kids are young we are preparing them for the future, we are preparing ourselves for the future, and at the same time we are living in that exact moment. I bet every single parent has more than one indelible picture stored in their brain that stands out to them as "a moment."

I can remember my mother telling me to enjoy my kids when they were young because it is so fleeting. I can recall my response, rather snarky, because, I am certain I was tired, "I can't enjoy it; I am living it." This is not to say there weren't beautiful, amazing, precious, exhausting, gut-wrenching, REALLY??!! times with them, because there are thousands, but the everyday stuff got lost in the every day stuff.

I am always so awestruck by scrapbooks, pictures neatly filed, and baby books. I taught people HOW to create gorgeous scrapbook pages so the irony of this isn't lost on me. If I had every post I ever wrote on the AOL Boards I participated in, I would have a chronological baby book to beat all books; I started when I was pregnant with Peter and up to when he was probably four and Bella was three. There is rich, rich material out there in cyberland. Instead, I look at the pictures and think, "Where DID the time go?"

My kids don't have baby books. The pictures are in boxes in quasi year order. They each have a giant bin of stuff they created from day care until probably 5th grade and then it got ridiculous. I have every years school pictures, none of which were ever hung. So, the memories are here, but, I like to think because I was living in the moment with them, that they too have a slide-show of life events they can pull from the eaves of their brains when they want to smile. Thankfully, Bella has a crazy memory and can remember everything. Peter is pretty good. At any event where Jane is at, there is guaranteed to be terrific pictures. 

Me? I watch, I participate and my heart remembers.

Here's to NOW. Here's to living in the moment. Here's to all of us, doing the best we can, each and every day. xo

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

http://youtu.be/lrXIQQ8PeRs

I started out tired this morning, bordering on cranky. I know I didn't get enough sleep last night - I am currently watching The Blacklist on Hulu and it is a demented show with wicked plot lines and a terrific cast. Hook, line, and sinker I was in. I am also reacquainting myself with Tarot cards and it is equivalent to learning a whole new language. So, I stumbled into bed way past midnight and was up by 7:00 this morning. By 8:45 I realized if I didn't go to yoga the day would be shot and I would be annoyed I didn't go.

Naturally, it was exactly what the doctor ordered. Cara always says things that make me think. (I believe my exact quote to her this morning was, "Damn you Cara Sax.") The mere practice of yoga makes the colors in my world brighter and it totally takes my blahs away.

This afternoon I did a card reading for a remarkably special woman. This ability I have allows me to also see the world in bright bold colors. I know it is a gift and one I don't take lightly. (As always, feel free to roll your eyes if that's not your thing...but, perhaps you should have a reading from me to make the eye rolling cease.)

We all have the ability to pull ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and feel better as the day goes on if we started out gray, like I did. 

Did you do anything to see the world in bright colors today? It's not too late...

And if you color my world
Just paint it with your love
Just color my world

http://youtu.be/MJhOsfzwDjY

I hope you all had a fantabulous day. I began with leftover birthday cake made by my talented sister Annemarie for my niece, I watched the movie, "Quartet" (it was excellent) and I ran all the typical errands I get to run each Monday.

If your day was a little off, perhaps this song will cheer you up.

How fun! You can sing and whistle along.

http://youtu.be/JrdEMERq8MA

Even if it's dark and dismal in your neck of the woods, shine bright from the inside out. You will make yourself happier and you will certainly make everyone around you joyful too.

Here's to Sunday ~ cheers!

Sunday piano piece.

http://youtu.be/LWWn5Q_Ctkg

As you have figured out by now, Saturday is a day of work for me. I saw this and thought, "Yep, let's make it a happy day!"

Which then got me thinking of the song, which led to YouTube, which led to THIS version of the song. And if you've read along for a while, you know my religious affiliation is pretty much everything. Doesn't matter. 

Who doesn't love an awesome gospel choir?!

Play. This. Song. Loud. 
(I cried. It's THAT awesome.)

Oh Happy Day, indeed!

http://youtu.be/a37bBm8pXSk

I know I need sleep. I have been known to use sleep as the perfect escape from life. When I don't get enough (which is more often than not) I become absolutely useless after a certain number of days. I know people who can get by on very little sleep and people who REALLY need eight hours. When life has you engaged, you can get by on less than five hours a night, OK, even four, but in general, I know I have to have at minimum six. Then I feel human.

I've written about dreams this week. And the voices in my dreams. Apparently, this has been a week where people have had WILD dreams and have heard equally wild things while they slept. Dreams so bizarre they woke up from their sleep believing what happened was real. Disturbing, frightening, beautiful, enlightening. There's no real pattern; it's what's going on in our own lives manifesting itself via our dreams. Have *you* had a wild week of dreams?

And the stars. Ah, I do love the stars. This week the sunsets proved extraordinary. The pictures posted on Facebook were ethereal. So glorious and beautiful and colorful and profound. The preface to stargazing was tinged with a beauty that captivated so many.

My wish for you, as we head into a three (or four) day weekend for many, is this: rest when you need it, dream dreams that bring you joy, wonder, and answers to questions you may have and observe a sky so vast and clear you can see into the heavens.

And of course, since it's Friday, dance!

xo

I feel your love and I feel it burn
Down this river, every turn
Hope is a four-letter word

http://youtu.be/hT_nvWreIhg

Fear. It eeks its way into our very existence.

When the time comes to make choices we often take the "safe" route. There are a million reasons, usually legitimate, as to why we do the things we do. But the fear - man, it keeps us stuck where we maybe don't want to be or doing things we don't want to do.

I can list a million things I haven't done because I have been afraid. I can equally list a million things I have done when I told fear to hush up.

It's a funny thing, as most of us know, when you tell fear to shut up you come out on the other side stronger and happier and usually more true to yourself.

I know I don't make certain choices based on what I think the reactions of others will be. Didn't I just write (yesterday, maybe?!), that really, no one gives a fat rats ass. Except for that one glorious moment of gossiping, where you can say, "REALLY! I didn't see that coming," or even better, "Humph, I can't say I'm surprised," you move on and get back to the business at hand, which is your own life.

So while fear can rule us, LOVE can equally rule us and it is far more kind and gentle than fear. I have GOT to start listening more to love and less to fear.

Sometimes there's a part of me
Has to turn form here and go
Running like a child from these warm stars
Down the seven bridges road

http://youtu.be/c-q7Mih69KE

Just because THIS is awesome.

http://youtu.be/fVzsDA08Tvk

I love the way the universe works. After much searching last night I finally decided to go with "the soul" as today's blog theme. Mind you, this was after hours of listening to music on YouTube and getting lost in artists that are new to me. I started out with one idea and ended up here. With thoughts of the soul. 

My Facebook quote today is, "If it doesn't nourish the soul, get rid of it."

I have a friend who has changed her way of thinking this year to a simple, "If it doesn't being me joy, I am not doing it." If it is something that can't be avoided, of course she will do whatever it is. However, as a busy mom running around all over the place, she scaled back her kids activities after chatting with THEM to figure out what brings them joy. She is starting their soul work early. They are breathing easier and enjoying quality time together at home versus in the car. Isn't that awesome?

Another friend is facilitating this event tonight. It is not an easy topic to speak of; I imagine it is a much harder topic to survive.

As the evening is drawing close several key people are unable to attend. As a result, my friend reached out to several of us to ask for support. I saw another friend sent her this quote by Steven Pressfield this morning. "The more important a call or action is to your soul's evolution, the more resistance we will feel to toward pursuing it." Ah, soul work. It isn't easy.

If you are in this area, I encourage you to go to the vigil if you or someone you love needs the tender hug of others who have survived domestic violence.

Be the soul of wherever you stand. It is not always easy to do this. Sometimes you want to hide in the face of difficult situations or people. (I know a thing a two about going into hermit mode.) But when you need to be on, do it. If it doesn't bring you joy, stop it.

So many of the things we do are done by choice. I said it a few weeks ago, NO is a full sentence. We have so much more power than we allow ourselves to use because often, we are worried what others will think; for the most part, they don't care. We are pretty egotistical, and as such, we look out for ourselves, and yet, we don't look out for ourselves at all. It's a pretty ugly circle.

It's a lot to ponder, isnt' it? If you can think of one thing that no longer brings you joy and you can purge yourself of it...go for it.

If you have ever watched ThePianoGuys you KNOW they play for the sheer joy of the music. THIS is one of my favorites from them.
It is joy for your soul.

http://youtu.be/OW0NknpVolU