Several years ago, I read a blog post from The Bloggess. It is one of THE greatest posts ever written because you laugh out loud from the beginning until the end. I have it saved as a bookmark and no matter when I read it, I laugh. I shared it. I continue to share it.

And now, I will share it again so you can see where this is all coming from. Go ahead and read it and then come back here.

And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.

Welcome back!

Last week, after the great friend surprise, my sister texted me that she had found me THE best gift EVER. Jane always gets excellent gifts, so I knew it must be REALLY good.

I was told to sit on the couch and not look. Peter and Doug went to the car to get it.

Jane took the picture above when the chicken came into the house.

Seriously, this is awesome. My friend Clare has had Baby Beyonce for a while and I think she/he has to come home to roost for a bit with this darling cock. (Yes, I had to go there...)

I put the picture on Facebook, laughing the whole time, and tagged my fellow Jenny Lawson friends. There is a tad bit of jealousy, along with probable relief that this giant chicken isn't in their own homes.

Naturally, this chicken needs a name. He came in as Roger Rooster a la Doug, but I think something more fabulous is in order.

What say you?

I enjoy Reginald for some mad reason...I've been reading a trilogy from British author, Gil McNeil, and it sounds oh so dashing to me at the moment.

OF COURSE this poultry delight HAS to be in the Magic Basement. Where else could it possibly reside?

That was the start to a perfect day. THE most perfect Thanksgiving in the history of our Thanksgivings. Just eight of us, delicious food, (fabulous left overs today!), lots of laughs and a grand 'ole time.

Here's hoping you had a spectacular Thanksgiving.

xo

PS - I know a few people in the New England states who got hammered by the weather and had no power. Good for you for Bar-B-Queing your turkeys, for using propane and for making gratitude happen despite Mother Nature's tricks.

Because really, what other song could I possibly use?

http://youtu.be/Hb9FwlubyIQ

As I prepare to leave my house this morning to do some shopping for Thanksgiving and the return of my favorite son to the house for the week, I am reminded how fortunate I am to be able TO shop.

During the holidays I become hyper aware of how little so many have thanks to many heart wrenching articles, videos, or blog posts, that remind me just how blessed my family is.

One of my salon friends posted this list on her FB page after she went to the local food bank and found the shelves particularly bare. A week after she posted it, she let me know the shelves were wonderfully stocked.

Need has no timeline. BUT, at this time of year, if you are a coupon clipper, or some of the items are "buy one, get one free," consider putting together a box of some of these items and drop it off at the food bank.

Click HERE for the link for the Westchester Food Banks.

xo

10 Things Food Banks Need But Won’t Ask For
Some items are in high demand at the food bank and you may not realize it. Because they aren’t essentials, the staff doesn’t publicly ask for them. A survey on Reddit.com asked volunteers what items people would be most appreciative of and we’ve listed the top 10 below. If you’re looking for an easy way to help out, pick some of these up while shopping and drop them off at one of our area food banks.

1. Spices. Think about it. People who rely on the food bank eat a lot of canned food, rice, oatmeal, white bread, etc. They love spices. Seasoned salt, cayenne pepper, chili powder, cumin, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, oregano, basil and so on.

2. Feminine Products. Can you imagine being worried about affording these? Pads, tampons, panty liners, etc. Recommended: Buy in bulk at Costco for donating.

3. Chocolate. People don’t need it, but think about being in their shoes and how nice it would be to be given a chocolate bar or brownie mix along with your essentials.

4. Toiletries. Grocery stores are great about donating surplus or unsold food, but they have no reason to donate toilet paper, tooth paste, soap, deodorant, shampoo, etc. Food stamps often don’t cover these.

5. Canned meats and jerky. This isn't true of all food banks, but some struggle to give users enough protein.

6. Crackers and tortillas. They don’t spoil and everybody likes them.

7. Baby toiletries. Diapers, baby wipes, baby formula, baby shampoo, baby soap, baby food, bottles, etc.

8. Soup packets. Sometimes you look at rice, beans, instant potatoes, and cans of vegetable and think, “What do I make with this?” Hearty soup is a complete meal.

9. Socks. From a former homeless person: “Socks mean the world to you. They keep you warm, make you feel like you have something new, and just comfort you.”

10. Canned fruit other than pineapple. Food banks get a lot of pineapple donated. Their clients love it when other kinds of fruit are available.

And remember! Food banks love cash donations because it allows them to buy whatever they need!

List taken from: http://bit.ly/tghr20141124

Such a beautiful version of this song.

http://youtu.be/cmlo1qnWe18

THIS.

This is what my Saturday afternoon looked like.

One of THE biggest surprises of my life.

Cathi texted me last Thursday to ask how far away from Marist College I was. She asked me if I was working. We went back and forth about life, kids and college. Then, we went about our day.

APPARENTLY, on her end, there were texts going back and forth that said, "Road Trip?"

Imagine my utter delight when these five women walked into the salon! I cried. I sputtered. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Saturday at the salon is always busy.
The Saturday before Thanksgiving is mayhem.
STILL.
These women came up to surprise ME. 

Well, you know already the staff at the salon is over the top awesome. Taking turns, Kathy, my fellow Long Island girl, Leslie and Nicole ran the front desk for almost an hour so we could go out to lunch and catch up.

So. Much. Laughter.

We called our friend, Jean, who lives in California so she could be part of the fun. We wanted to Facetime her, but alas, it didn't work. Sharon lives in California too, so it was QUITE the shock to see her face so soon after our reunion.

We are women who have held each other up through heartache, through acne, through college, through marriage, through kids, through divorce, through death, through all the trials that this miraculous event called life gives us.

We have grown up into amazing women with such interesting lives. Each one of us is a shining star.

I wish I could have been part of the road trip, because I can only imagine what else Dr. Susan could have taught me...

These are not the everyday friends you have through work or from the neighborhood.

These are the friends from WAY back when. Who know some of your deepest fears and dreams and secrets because they lived through them WITH you, as teenagers, those angst filled days. Time and distance melts away when you are with the people who "knew you when." 

THANK YOU Girls! Oh. My. God. I wish you each the same kind of beautiful surprise in your own lives. I get teary eyes just thinking about it.

ALL LOVE to Bonnie, Cathi, Cindy, Sharon and Susan.
ALL LOVE to Jean and Amy who joined us all this morning via a group message gone mad.

xo

PS - JEAN gets song credit. I asked. She answered.

Last night, at 6:10pm Bella received her first college acceptance email. The 6:10 is important because that's her birthday, June 10.

For a kid who doesn't believe in nearly anything her mother or grandmother does, she noticed this.

I think (hope) the pressure is off now. She can relax and wait for the next five colleges to get back to her.

It will certainly make it easier to live with her!

While I was looking around for a quote or song or something to add to this, I found this beautiful video. You will love it. It is just over a minute.
http://youtu.be/2UtymXSMsDU

This is from Rion's mom, Susan, under the YouTube comments. She wrote it 11 months ago:

She wrote THIS three weeks ago.

As a parent I want my kids to be happy.

Peter is thriving at college. Bella is thriving in high school. The pressure they are under far surpasses anything I dealt with at their ages as far as "my future" went.

WAY back then you were "guaranteed" a job for life if you were hired by certain companies. Well, I got laid off by the phone company and that was one of the places that gave you job security. So much for that fantasy. The latest statistics state most people will have 12 to 15 jobs in their lifetime; they will work 4.4 years per job.

Peter applied to ONE college Early Decision. He was accepted by early November and knew where he was going. There was no emotional trauma.

It is an entirely different experience with Bella.

The competition for college is unfathomable to me (maybe because I didn't graduate until I was 51?!) and to experience the angst of a kid waiting to get accepted is like living on a see-saw.

Until we hear from the other five schools, we will just delight in the one acceptance, so far.

Because you want to know, Bella applied to:
SUNY Binghamton
SUNY New Paltz
St. John Fischer College - that would be SO convenient
Ithaca
Northeastern
University of Vermont - ACCEPTED (!)

I want my kids to be happy. I want them to enjoy their college experience. I want them to have jobs that provide them with quasi security. I want them to live life to the fullest.

xo

If you are on FB, you saw I created an event for this yesterday. If you have been part of TGHR from the get go, you know this event is a L-O-N-G time coming.

It's funny how life works out.

TWO YEARS ago I went to a Women's Symposium.
I was a participant.
Kacey was the emcee.
Demitra was a speaker.

The symposium ceased to be and Kacey and I decided we would try to pull something off. Life got in the way for a million reasons that I'm sure Demitra could explain and it didn't happen in 2013. Or 2014.

Last winter the three of us met for lunch and conversation at my house. Just 'cuz. We didn't even talk about having an event. We just chatted like girls do and we spoke of how to tweak websites.

During the early summer, Kacey and I actually met to discuss making this happen.

Well, we all know what I happened. I fell down and went boom. Kacey opened a reiki practice. Demitra had her life happen.

But somehow, someway, through the magic of emails, text, and runs to Sam's Club, despite not having the venue we thought we would, we are committed to making this happen.

Naturally, people want to know what the day is about.

• It's about meditation. Don't worry. I'm leading one and I am still learning the art of the PRACTICE of meditation.
  
• It's about stories. Mine. Kacey's. Demitra's. We're all so interconnected as women it makes sense that some of our stories will be about YOU as well.
  
• It's about laughing.
  
• It's about crying.
  
• It's about how astrology works in your life every single day.
  
• It's about how radio gave Kacey some of the greatest lessons of her life.
  
• It's about noshing.
  
• It's about music.
  
• It's about dancing.
  
• It's about connecting.
  
• It's about fun.
  

It's a gift you are giving to yourself FOR yourself because YOU ARE WORTH IT.

To learn more about Kacey, visit her website, Kacey On The Radio.

To learn more about Demitra, visit her website, Heaven to Earth Astrology. The best part about her website? The home page is your daily horoscope.

To buy tickets to the event, visit this page, January 11 ~ A Day About & For Women.

Graphics once again, designed by the supremely talented Kelly McKinley of Pak Creative.

There will be lots more on this as the day draws near, but that's what I've got for you now. I hope to see you.

xo

I live in a pretty nice house with heat, and hot water, and the ability to house a bunch of kids tonight for the Malcom Bump Debate Tournament that goes on at our high school each year.

It will be the third time we've done it for the debaters.

They get picked up at 10:00-ish tonight, they collapse into bed, and are up and at 'em by 7:15 Saturday morning.

Every year it's hard to get enough families to house the kids and I always think to myself, I would want someone like me to house MY kids if they needed it. So, we get a few snacks, get some Dunkin' Donuts, apples, and strawberries and send them off to argue for the sheer fun of it.

I write this because I have a friend, Elisha, who is doing amazing work for at-risk teenage girls.

The polar opposite of the teenage girl who lives in my house and the girls I will be housing tonight.

Their mission is to help a particularly vulnerable group, exploited and at-risk teenage girls through their organization, The Crossover Yoga Project.  They bring a curriculum of yoga and creative art therapy to girls in the juvenile justice system, empowering them to make positive changes for a better future.  

I urge you to learn about it HERE, watch the video, and give what you can afford to give.

Because it's Friday, and, because we are ROCKING the salon with '80's music these past few days, we shall, of course, dance!

When this song came on yesterday, I squealed.

Girls -- they wannna have fun
Oh girls just wannna have fun

http://youtu.be/PIb6AZdTr-A

Mark your calendar for January 11, 2015 from 9:00 - 3:00 and plan to be at Backstage Salon for an intimate day about and for women. Your investment will be $65 and it will include a light breakfast and lunch. More details to follow.

I am SO excited! Jen Pellingra, my talented, amazing, wonderful massage therapist has a brand new website and blog!

Launched just yesterday it allows you to buy gift certificates right then and there.

I am sending you DIRECTLY to her blog where she has written a beautiful entry about peace. After you read it, buy a GC or call her for an appointment. She is life changing.

http://www.jenpellingra.com/blog  <-- hurry!

I wanted to share the pictures the uber generous and talented Rana Faure took from the Cut-A-Thon. I am including the link to the page on Backstage's website. Such a rewarding and fabulous day!

http://www.backstagesaloncroton.com/cut-a-thon-pictures.html

Go ahead, dance a little.

http://youtu.be/17GLE-16_3g

I have been creative in my head these last few days while getting "stuff" done. 

Kacey and I have been ironing out the details of our day retreat.

I got my cards read by Shyla.

The third book, Blood Magic, in the Nora Robert's The Cousins O'Dwyer trilogy was released, so of course I spent a day reading that.

I got caught up on paperwork for the salon.

I got caught up on hulu.

I did laundry.

I made a pot roast and chicken soup.

I still have a ton of filing to do and I don't love filing, but it must get done.

All the mundane stuff that goes into being human.

How much of our life do we think about just before we fall asleep? How many creative ideas are borne out of weariness? My guess? A lot.

I really love Bob Dylan's lyrics. I really do not like his voice. Susan Tedeschi may have one of my favorite new voices (to me) and her cover of this is magnificent.

xo

AH, the air is crisp, the moon is full, and it's Saturday!

You already ARE awesome.

Make today awesome as well.

Since we didn't dance yesterday we can do so this morning.

xo

Send healing thoughts out to my friend Lisa's son Will.

From her FB page: 
Will is being admitted to the hospital to treat an infection of the bone, muscle and joint. He will likely be there for the week as they work to find the right course of antibiotics. Prayers we get on the right drugs soon and that he gets some pain relief.

Y'All ready for this?

http://youtu.be/DJ6CcEOmlYU

As you all know, I didn't go away to college right after high school, so this is a ritual I am not familiar with. Many of my friends were dropped off on move-in weekend and then didn't come home until Thanksgiving.

Parents rarely visited, calls were made on a pay phone in the hall and you were forced out of the comfort of your high school life into college life.

I was looking forward to this event so I could see Peter and so Bella could officially tour the school.

We arrived on Halloween and went to dinner. It was a lot of fun and terrific to see Peter in this new environment. We went to Wegmans in Pittsford after dinner so we could load Peter up with water and so I could get a look at the place.

It's impressive.

We dropped Peter back off at his dorm so he could do some college age trick or treating.

On Saturday, the weather was a mix of cold, wet, and miserable.

Saturday morning we went to the info session and then on a tour of the school. For the most part, I had only seen Peter's dorm room; I love the place.

Bella has already applied there; it was terrific for her to get a good look as well. What was especially excellent was that we had our own tour guide. It made asking a ton of questions very easy.

We had tickets to a football game we quickly kaboshed. I don't like sitting in the rain watching kids I do know, to sit watching kids I don't know seemed like a recipe for disaster on my mood.

Which was spiraling downward.

I was now on Peter's turf. This was his new home. He felt a need to entertain us and that really wasn't all that fair to him.

He did, though, suggest a stroll through the mall. If you know me, even a little, you know shopping is not my thing. But I put on my big girl panties and we really did have a nice time just being together.

My dear friend Claire grew up in Rochester and had suggested a restaurant to eat at. It was perfect and exactly what we needed for an early dinner.

Bella stayed overnight with Peter. They went to a party. Apparently my children "ruled the pong table."

SO PROUD.

For the record, no drinking was admitted to being done in my presence. OF COURSE I know the drinking age is 21. To my knowledge, it has not, nor will it ever happen in my house until they are of legal age.

BUT...

Teens are sneaky little bastards.

God knows, I was.

Bella met a ton of kids, all of whom felt it was their responsibility to tell her she HAD TO COME TO FISHER, except for one, who thought Northeastern was the way to go.

We ate out, one last time, at Peter's request. We laughed. A lot.

The ride home took one million years. Seriously.

Family Weekend is a wonderful event for parents who worry about their kids. I'm not a worrier. It is costly. I would only do it for a Freshman.

Unless they need MY expertise at the pong table...

xo

I wrote nearly an entire blog post this morning and then my laptop went crazy and I lost the whole thing. AND, to top it off Weebly didn't autosave it. Holy Hannah... so, without further ado...
(Take a seat, this is long.)

My sister Jane invited Shira, a psychic medium from Long Island, to come to Yorktown last April 28 for a Relay For Life fundraiser. I went with a friend and we were captivated by her gallery readings. We knew right away we liked her. A lot.

During the summer, my friend booked a private Skype reading with Shira. Throughout the reading she took 12 pages of notes. Twelve pages! Stuff no one would know unless they grew up with you. She was over the moon excited and I decided right then and there I wanted a private reading as well.

Now, I do occasionally have visits from the dead. (You're not surprised, are you?) I have never had an experience with a medium, EXCEPT for the one time I called a medium who didn't have time for a reading but who did tell me my Nana wanted my attention.

Really?

Okaaayyyy.

During the phone call, I found out my Nana wanted me to recognize her death date with a candle. I don't do death dates - I can barely remember birthdays as it is. So, naturally, I googled her obit and found out she had died in just four days from the phone call. I was heading up to The Dreaming Goddess that afternoon to have a reading with Shyla and thought, OK, I can find something perfect up there. 

And 'lo and behold I found this candle - representative of the two weeks we spent each summer up at the lake in Vermont.

But I am NO medium. Nope.

I had the testimony of a friend and I was absolutely making my own appointment.

So, through the magic of Facebook Messenger, Shira and I communicated back and forth and we decided that October 21 at 11:00 and 12:00 would be perfect for myself and a friends reading.

INTERESTINGLY enough, October 21 was both my father's birthday AND the day we buried him. This was an excellent sign.

Except for this little speed bump called Mercury in Retrograde.

It kicked my ass for one of the first times in my life. More than one electronic type device went haywire including our laptop at the salon and our phone system.

And with it, so went our appointment, because the date didn't stick in Shira's calendar. I had written to her to confirm and she was as confused as I was.

Which brings us to yesterday.

Two Long Island girls heading down from Westchester to meet up with one of our own. There's just something about a LI girl. Hell, the name of Kathy and my business is LI Runway & Co. A nod to the beach and our respective towns.

I hung out in the car while my friend was read. I called an old friend who I hadn't spoken to in years. I was in her wedding and I am the godmother to one of her kids and life, well it just happened. So, we chatted on the phone rather than electronically.

I went in, got cleared with some sage, said a few prayers and off we went.

It was a busy room.

I had four great grandparents check in. I had Nana check in - she wanted it to be known that she's with me all the time as a guide. My Uncle Pat checked in.

Shira asked, "Who's the schnauzer?!" I laughed and said, my sister Jane's dog from when we were kids. It turns out Christie is hanging out with my Dad who basically took over the reading.

He was amusing and cocky and exactly as I would expect a dead Bill Buckley to be. He is my spiritual guide and informed me that my own gifts are in my genes from the Celtic side of the family. Who am I to argue?

Shira asked me why she kept hearing The Monkee's theme song over and over. Well, because my father called me Monkey.

She asked me why was she getting the words, "lucky" and "Lucy." Well, because Lucy was with me when I fell and I was VERY lucky she was with me.

There was A LOT of discussion about the businesses - both the salon and TGHR. I have very busy spirit guides.

There was a time for questions and I was absolutely NOT prepared for that. The next time, I would go with some questions prepared in case they aren't answered during the reading.

EACH person who is fortunate enough to have a reading with Shira will have a different experience.

Obviously, you have to BE a believer going in, or at least a healthy skeptic willing to be open to the possibility.

It was an extraordinary day.

I would highly recommend Shira to anyone who wants to connect with a loved one. You will walk away with goose bumps, knowledge and a lighter heart.

This summer I read the book, Me Before You by JoJo Moyes. I read it on the recommendation of my librarian, Joan after I returned the Moyes book, One Plus One. She told me if I liked that Moyes novel, I would LOVE Me Before You.

Joanie warned me it was sad; but not because of a horrible incident (a la Nicholas Sparks, let's say). I was to report back to both she and Lynn (another librarian) on what I thought.

It stays with you.

I have the reading retention rate of a gnat, and yet, the book haunted me in that it asked me to ask myself hard and painful questions about my feelings on death with dignity, something I had not really given a whole lot of thought to.

I thought about myself. I thought about my kids. I thought about other people I loved. And I realized I didn't really have a concrete answer because I am not in that position.

In early October, the story of Brittany Maynard surfaced. A young woman given a devastating death sentence just after New Year's Day this year.

Brittany's story is compelling and heartbreaking and no one else's but hers.

Therefore it became fodder for anyone and everyone on every side of the fence to weigh in. Thankfully on the two videos Brittany posted via the website Compassion and Choices the comments sections were disabled. I shudder to think what the comments would be.

I followed Brittany's story because it followed on the heels of my reading the book. I followed it because it is something that now captures my attention. I followed it because she is so very beautiful and so very sick.

It is the story of a 29 year old being told she WILL die and it will be ugly. It will be painful. Her life will cease to be in her own control.

If we are lucky, we are born into the world surrounded by love.

If we are lucky, we die surrounded by love.

I do not know one person who WANTS to die. I know people who have been diagnosed with diseases that make it happen faster than a "normal" lifespan. And so far, to the best of my knowledge, everyone was able to die the way they wanted to.

But what IF they wanted to chose their death date.

A reverse scheduled C-Section if you will.

How very fortunate we live in a world where such a thing is possible. Where the amount of suffering you are going to have is limited to the amount of time you can stand it and not prolonged.

I like that option.

Our animals are given that kind of treatment.
Why not our humans?

Yesterday, Brittany chose to end her life. People are calling it suicide. People are calling it assisted suicide. People are clamoring to be heard on why it is such a bad idea. Equal amounts of people are yelling to be heard on why it is such a good idea.

I haven't walked in Brittany's shoes.
It's not my story.

With that said though, I came into this world naked and screaming. Why not leave it naked and dreaming?

xo