February ~ the month of love.

What a month it was. Birthdays and breakthroughs and work-outs, oh my!

I had a lot of people checking in here. The FB page grew. The basement, well, let's just say it's still a work in progress but it's not nearly as bad as it was! Amen to that.

Thank YOU for the love. I am most grateful.

Normally, I would put the original version up, but SERIOUSLY, I love this audition and this guy throws it down.  xo
::: tissue alert :::  <-- forewarned is forearmed

So. Here's the deal with therapy. It's mental health "exercise" for your brain and your heart. Just when you think you've got something figured out - you're SURE of it, you realize, nope, no you're not.

Wednesday's tend to be my breakthrough days. The days when I physically train with Jen. Somehow, by doing that, I also release the stuff that's been building up in my head.

I have a busy head...

You may recall that last Wednesday I was a proverbial basket case. For this week, I sat and I thought and I journaled and I pulled cards and I realized I was full of shit in my own head about events that had occurred in my own life. I had made up an entire set of circumstances about being rejected that were not true. Well, they were my reality until I REALLY thought about it and I realized that in two of the three cases of feeling like I was being rejected, feeling like I wasn't good enough, feeling like I wasn't worthy, I was the one who actually did the rejecting. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Seriously. I had been having a pity-party for one for no real reason. 

Each morning and evening I chat with my Board of Directors. (As always, eye rolling is perfectly acceptable at this point.) I discuss life with God, the gods, goddesses, angels, spirit guides, animal guides and anything or anyone else who wishes to represent me to the universe. 

I happen to have one very powerful angel who makes himself known to me in various ways. Eagles swoop as I drive. Hawks circle in the sky. Butterflies follow me on the path at the river walk. The Train song, "Calling All Angels" comes on my iPod or Pandora. His name pops up while I am talking or thinking about him - on a building, on a billboard, in a magazine. He's the deceased brother of a friend. WHY he decided to perch in my world remains one of the most sincere, but delightful mysteries of the universe. We have MANY discussions while I drive. Thank goodness for Bluetooth technology, otherwise people would absolutely think I am totally batty. I yell at him. I cry with him. I tell him to take care of my friend. It's all good.

Well, the morning I figured all of this out, my world went crazy - eagles, the song and his name all made themselves known to me like a winning machine in a casino. It was like he was clapping, saying, "FINALLY! You figured out that YOU too played a part in this rejection theory." Even my angels are sarcastic.

Just so you know...

I think I finally get it. Not all rejections are actually rejections. Some feelings of rejection are totally made up. In this case, I swear I don't know why it played out the way it did in my head. My best guess is self preservation.

I need to give credit to the person who I thought rejected me. They honored my wishes to be left alone when I was very vulnerable. They honored my wishes for a very long time. And when we did communicate again, it was ME, interestingly, who initiated it. Now, in a role reversal, I am doing the honoring and leaving them alone. Because I love them. I always have. I always will. And that's my lesson.

Because the lesson, well, the lesson is always love...

I think I learned this in the womb.

Although, I can't say I have always been love. 

I am not an easy person to live with. I tend to dive in deeply to the things I love/enjoy/obsess about with great passion to the distraction of everything else around me. I am not as bad as I was in my thirties, but if you asked my family where I've been for the past eight weeks they would absolutely tell you the basement. When Tetris first came out I was obsessive about it. AOL Message Boards. (Where I met AMAZING friends - Barb, Col-Robin, Amy and more.) The PTA when my kids were really little. Stampin' Up! - again, I met great friends but it was the be-all and end-all of many a day.

So, as this journey called life continues, I try to be love.

I try to be mindful of my time these days. Really. I do.

I try to be mindful that the people I gave birth to will all too soon be sprouting wings and taking off. Like my mother before me, I have raised very independent kids who are utterly capable and who don't need to check-in with ME unless the need a ride, money or food. Every once in a while we surprise each other with a general, "Hey." Their father is MUCH better with the check-ins. It has been this way since they were babies. Thankfully, they know how we both operate and it works. We nurture our children very differently, but man, we love them FIERCELY. They KNOW we love them and as such, they have stability. Even if the waters got rough, no matter what, those two people know without a doubt how very loved they are. We ARE love for them.
 
Music today: I heard it first on the TV show Brothers & Sisters. I loved it then, I love it still.

Happy Birthday to my dear Aunt Nancy, who is 80 today. Which, on my mom's side of the family, makes her young. Those women live well into their 90's and I don't expect Nancy to be any different. 

I was the first grandchild born on both sides of the family. You know what that means...I was the favorite.

Nancy is a woman to look up to. She worked full time while putting herself through law school; not something a lot of women did many years ago. She never married. She is the keeper of the family lore. She needs to write that stuff all down. She loves to drive...fast. She had a Volkswagen Diesel Rabbit way before it was cool. She had an awesome studio apartment on West End Avenue in NYC that was the bomb. She worked in communications for many years. She lives in Vermont, a place of millions of memories for me, and I would guess my siblings and cousins. That is where she built her dream home and I might add, cared for her mom, my Nana, who lived until she was 98. She is obsessed with any and all gadgets and loves all things technical. She WILL read a manual. She is generous. She is fair.

Nancy gives outstanding gifts. She has given me gifts that fill my house and my heart because I know when I look at them or touch them or wear them, I can proudly say, "Aunt Nancy gave me that." 

In 4th grade, a box arrived in the mail addressed to ME. From Bergdorf's. (Or, it might have been Bloomingdale's.) In it was THE perfect outfit. JUST FOR ME. I wore it for my class picture. Best guess is my sister Jane has that picture somewhere. Ivory turtleneck and a brown jumper. My hair is in pigtails.

When I was 13 I learned to navigate the Long Island Rail Road and the bus system in NYC when I took a multi-week course on pattern making on Madison Avenue. I don't sew anymore, but I could probably rock something out if I was asked to. Because I was going through Penn Station one weekend, I bought my first ever album, Fleetwood Mac "Rumors."

When I was 16 I received my first piece of Tiffany jewelry - the Elsa Peretti sterling silver "m" ~ of course I still have it.

When I graduated high school I received a Cartier Battersea Box - it's the four seasons, something that plays a massive part in TGHR.

Nancy is terrified of dogs. And yet, she gave us all the cutest, easiest dogs any of us have ever owned! 

Paintings. Sculptures. Blown Glass. Bookends.

Everything is well thought out.

My friend Mary Jo put this on her Facebook wall this afternoon. It is an excellent five minute video you absolutely SHOULD watch.

Happy Sunday INDEED!

"This is our ball pit, we can talk about whoever we want."  <-- LOVE this line

Through the magic of Pinterest I found Jennifer's fantastic creations. As a coffee lover they really spoke to me - the colors, the quotes, the musical references; they were perfection.

Now, since not everyone is into coffee, so she also has an awesome tea series.

And, if it's after 5pm, there's a great wine series too.

Check out Jennifer's Facebook page HERE - it's not a fan page but you most certainly should follow her.

If this is all more than you can stand and you need prints or greeting cards or a calendar with these whimsical images, look no further than HERE!

This video showed up on my Facebook Wall this afternoon (thanks Kacey). 

It is an excerpt from a three hour lecture by Alan Watts.

The three hour lecture is below. 
I am listening to it now... 

This was a great week. The kids were off from school for a couple of days. It was my birthday, in case you forgot...) It was fun. I launched a second blog. I got a lot done in the basement. I cried. I laughed. I cried...

It's Friday. It feels like it was one of the longest weeks ever. It was emotionally exhausting. It had highs and lows. Mostly highs. ::: whew :::

The basement is quite nearly, truly, magical. I am probably just three boxes away from the great purge getting put onto ebay. Then, I am but seven days away from it all being out of the house. Once and for all.

A friend of mine wrote this to me a few weeks ago, "I know so many people who hide behind their stuff. It serves as a great barrier." Isn't that just the truth? I've been hiding behind stuff for far too long. Each item that I sell or put in the trash is a representation of letting something go. 

What comes with this are tears, and thoughts of "where did this all go so horribly awry?" and, "Dear god, let it never get this bad again."

My basement and my body. Barometers of my state of mind.

My Facebook picture today talks about love, compassion, kindness and faith. This is the journey I have been on. I could NEVER have imagined today, right this instant, a year ago. THAT I am 100% certain of. I will give good since we all know, we get what we give. In spades. And karma can be brutal.

And because it's just how my brain works, I must now present you with some Boy George. You'll sing it all day. You're welcome. 

One of things I work on daily (hourly) is living in the moment. I worked obscenely hard on "the past," this year. I do like to think about what's next. Although, I certainly can't control it. I find if I concentrate on NOW, right this second, I am less likely to get myself twisted over stuff the universe has absolutely got it's hand on. 

I had a discussion with a friend about fate a couple of weeks ago. I am a firm believer in it. I believe in destiny. I believe things happen for a reason, which may or may not be clear for weeks, months, or even years. 

She wasn't jumping on the fate band wagon with both feet like me. She wondered if I felt that way because of the way some things have fallen into place for me of late. Perhaps, I just know what to look for, was her thinking. Like when you get a new car - doesn't everyone on the road now drive a black RAV4 like me? Of course not, I just happen to see a whole lot more of them since I got it a few weeks ago. 

Still, I like believing there are angels guiding me and protecting me and making things happen. There is a boatload of stuff I can't fathom how it would have happened otherwise.

So, I give gratitude every morning upon waking and every night before falling asleep for the wonders of the day. I send out love and light and blessings and prayers to the people in my heart, and especially to the people who might otherwise cause me pain. I take a few extra moments to bathe them in the beauty of love. THAT clears the way to let love shine. At least for me.

I love this quote from the music of the day. It's a gentle reminder to back off wondering and just experience right here, right now.

Whatever is going to happen, well, it's going to happen. At exactly the right time, in exactly the right way, with exactly the right people. 

But for now, I will deal with today and continue to clear the way for love.

As you are all aware, yesterday was my birthday. 

EVERYONE, and I mean everyone, should get to experience a day long event like a Facebook birthday. You get notifications from the early morning until late at night. I heard from over 200 people! It was so much fun to catch up with people even if it was just to "like" their wish. You can't have a bad day when you feel that much love. Seriously. It's a spectacular experience. 

Add to that FB messages, texts, emails, phone calls and snail mail and it's the lottery of days. I had a supremely marvelous day.

We had a scrumptious dinner with the family at the restaurant where my son works.

I am over the top excited to be getting prints from the one and only Katya Horner as a gift from my husband; a well thought out, perfect gift.

I ended my evening with my therapy group; it was exactly the right way to end a night after a year fraught with amazing changes and so many more to come.

53 For ME! HERE

My kids let me sleep in today! (HA!) Oh, how I would have loved to write that sentence ten years ago. Now they are teens; sleeping in is the norm. I did sleep until 8:30 which is highly unlike me. I am also using an unbelievable amount of restraint and NOT looking at my phone or Facebook before I get my blog post done. I can share with you that I have 120 emails currently in my email box and there is no way they are all Living Social or Groupon deals!

It always freaks my mother out a little that her kids are as old as we are, because frankly, let's face it, that makes HER older. (Sorry mom...that's the fact.)

As her first born, and thus, her favorite (seriously, how much fun am I having here today?!) I got to have her all to myself for a whole 25 months. And then the rug was pulled out from underneath me and I had to share.

No matter where in the birth order we fell, we were told from the time we were babies, "You are beautiful, you are amazing, you are smart." As we have gotten older and asked about our childhood, my mother's standard answer has been, "I can't remember, but, you were all perfect." Utter lies, but we like to believe it.

And so although it is my birthday, as my friend Mary Jo reminds us on the birth of our kids birthday's, it was my mom's first BIRTH day. So thanks, Mama. For having me and all. For dealing with me as a teenager. For dealing with me as a pain in the ass adult. For being the keeper of many a secret.

I will celebrate for the day and toast you.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I am turning 52.
(Feel free to shower me with birthday wishes tomorrow...that would be fabulous!)
Ever since hurricane Sandy - in OCTOBER, I have been a little out of control eating wise and I have definitely slacked off with exercise. 

I know when I am doing this sort of self-sabotage. (Don't we all?)

Well. 

It. Has. To. Stop.

Having been on this road for a year, I KNOW what to do. It gets very easy to relax the no white flour, no sugar rule. It is even easier to remain comfy, cozy in bed at WTF-thirty when it's freezing out.

And so, I am on a 53 day mission for ME. One to grow on, if you will.

Starting on Wednesday, February 20, I will be eating as clean as I can and working out, in some way, shape or form at least five days a week. I fully expect speed bumps. I will share them, never fear.

Naturally I have the Jen's buy-in. I know the many people who work out with me will quietly (ha!) encourage me. I have my yogi Cara's buy-in. It's MY OWN buy-in that is so hard. I am going to create a separate page for this adventure - I would love it if you would stop by, check-in, join in, participate and tell me how it's going with YOU.

By stating this as an intention to you, the Jen's and the universe, I am willing to hold myself accountable. I have remained at a lovely size and weight for more than six months now. It's time to get it together and make my way from flab to fab. I have seen it happen with my girls Ellen and Janet and yes, I have seen Jen Clark's before picture. LOOK DOWN.

And so, I am off. To get healthy (my doctor will be delighted as my cholesterol isn't exactly stellar), to get fit and to let go of things that no longer serve me.

I know you will stand by me and support me as I start this - but first, there will be a birthday celebration!  xo

PS - I defy you not to get weepy when you watch this video.

In case you haven't yet figured it out, I am on QUITE the journey this year. 

I have tackled issues I have had for years. Just when I have thought I was done with something, the little bastard comes back to remind me I STILL have work to do. My mother reminds we are never really done. Comforting, right?

In any event, besides the therapy, besides the music, besides the books, besides the exercise and besides the eating better, I have added psychic abilities back into my life. I know. It's right there with the NY School of Interior Design. 
A little secret hidden away. 

I have straddled the doorway of cynicism and "woo-woo" for more than twenty years. I am finally embracing it. We ALL have psychic abilities of some sort - gut feelings, intuition, dreams; IF we choose to embrace it rather than poo-poo it away it's astounding what can happen!

ANYWAY...

I began by having a Tarot Card reading for the first time in more than 12 years in October. You could have knocked me over with a feather, it was so dead on. Then, I had another one in November. My mom (one of the top 100 psychics in NY back in the day...) read me for the first time in more than 17 years in January, and despite knowing most of my secrets, she was able to read me with an uncanny ability. (Sometimes it's hard to read those we love best.) Last week, I had a reading that knocked me on my ass. It was THAT outrageously amazing.

I read my own cards, this is something not a lot of people can do. I can. Go me! I read a select few other people's. I can tune into certain people very easily and know when they are happy or angry or upset or confused. I find myself in people's offices and at one point last week I was in my mother's kitchen - and I've never been there. 

In the past few months I have given away four decks of cards I had from years ago - they weren't resonating with me at all anymore. Last week I bought two new decks. I am getting to know them. It's like learning a whole new language again.

If I haven't lost you yet (and I hope I haven't) what these cards have been begging me to do for days is GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND GET SOME AIR!

So, yesterday I went to the gym. Then I headed to a place called Fleishmann Pier to be one with my beloved Hudson. When I got out of my car, I immediately saw an eagle (they are all over the Hudson River at this time of year). Eagles are spirit guides and I see them very frequently. As a matter of fact, I have had them follow my car. They must feel the need to hit me over the head with the message that I have powerful angels looking out for me. (Feel free to roll your eyes, my kids totally do - as I did when my mom got involved with all of this stuff.)

It was absolutely bitterly cold out. I plugged in my headphones and boom, "Maybe I'm Amazed" blared out. A hugely important song to me. It only made sense it played while I was at the river. I took some pictures - the beauty is breathtaking. The ice is fierce. I was so happy to be there.

I came home and put on Pandora. You should know my Pandora station is schizophrenic - I never know WHAT will kick in - show tunes? R&B? Disco? 70's, 80's or 90's? The Dead? Hot Tuna? John Lennon? The Beatles? Country? Mary Chapin Carpenter? Enya? The Piano Guys? Yeah - ALL of that is on that one station. First song up - The Dead, "Bertha."

"Dressed myself in green, I went down unto the sea.
Try to see whats goin' down, try to read between the lines."

Happy Sunday dear Readers! Do feel free to share YOUR psychic experiences with me. I love hearing about them. xo

This year I read more non-fiction than ever before in my life. It was fantastic. It was exhausting. All that thinking. All that highlighting. All that thinking. (Have I mentioned the thinking?)

If it was a particularly amazing book I bought many copies and gave them away. 

The library frowns on you highlighting THEIR copy and giving that away. Go figure...

I have included some of the most profound passages to me, trust me, there are MANY. Clicking on the cover will bring you right to Amazon where you can order with wild abandon.

Enjoy!

Tiny Beautiful Things
by Cheryl Strayed

This was an accidental purchase that turned out to be 100% fantastic. While at a book signing in East Hampton with my friend, Cathi, I happened upon this and it opened my eyes to this talented writer I couldn't put down. Of course, this past fall she released, Wild, and yes, I highly suggest that book too. But this one, OH, this one tugs on every corner of your heart and soul.

“It is not so incomprehensible as you pretend, sweet pea. Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or heavy as the sacrifices we make for our children. It can be romantic, platonic, familial, fleeting, everlasting, conditional, unconditional, imbued with sorrow, stoked by sex, sullied by abuse, amplified by kindness, twisted by betrayal, deepened by time, darkened by difficulty, leavened by generosity, nourished by humor and “loaded with promises and commitments” that we may or may not want or keep.

The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherfucking shit out of it.” 

Learning to Breathe
by Priscilla Warner

My therapist is renowned for telling us all to just breathe. And so, I figured lessons couldn't hurt. This is the story of woman who frankly, is fortunate enough to be able to up and leave her life for a year in order to find herself. Kind of like "Eat, Love, Pray," but not really.

"I sat up, filled my lungs with air, and sighed.

It felt fantastic.

'Do you know what sigh stands for?' Gina has asked me once.

I'd shaken my head, no.

'Sitting in God's hands,' Gina had said.

I took another deep, glorious breath and let it go, sighing. Sitting in God's hands."

Broken Open
by Elizabeth Lesser

Bar none, THIS is the book that tore me apart. That I have read sections of over and over and over. This book has both highlighter and Post-It flags throughout it. I believe I have given this book to more than a dozen people. I keep one in my car, new, JUST IN CASE someone needs it. It is good for any of us who have gone through difficult times, and who hasn't gone through difficult times?

"After all these years of being broken open by loss and love and life itself, I still resist the river of change. Whether it is something going on in my personal life, or at work, or in the world, I still instinctively tighten my grip when things feel out of control. But that's okay. I'm used to the drill: Something I didn't want to happen, happens. I feel the resistance build within. I feel the pressure to control what is obviously out of my control. I become aware of what I'm doing - I become aware of the choice either to break down or to break open. I take a deep breath, uncoil my body, stretch out on the river of change. Once again, I accept that life is uncertain - that the goal is not to become more certain about anything but to relax more into the mystery of not knowing what will come next. And then, miracle of miracles, out there in the deep and uncertain water, I come into a peaceful knowing - a faithful wisdom that surpasses control and certainty."

Normally, there would be ten or eleven of us camped out in unit Q103 at Okemo Mountain in Ludlow, Vermont this time of year. This is the one vacation a year I take with my kids; sadly, this year, there were so many mitigating circumstances, starting with a winter break cut short by three days, that we are not skiing. Skiing is an expensive sport and money is always an issue. Those gorgeous kids who aren't mine? They are world class swimmers and will be up and down the east coast in pools for most of the winter. Our other friends who join us have a kid down with a back that is preventing her from walking, let along skiing. 

For the record, I do not ski. I am the house Mom. My original plan was to get back up on skis this year. Ah, what they say about the best laid plans.

As promised the other day, here is my story of skiing from four years ago and what led me to this glamorous title.

But first, some background:
In 1991 I went out to Colorado to ski at Copper Mountain on a glorious, amazing, solo Club Med vacation. On the last run, of the last day, I heard, from behind me, "Holy shit, I can't stop!" That was followed by me getting plowed down and becoming a human mogul. My left leg was broken. I was tobogganed down the mountain. Good times...

This was originally "published" on February 20, 2009 on Facebook:
We arrive at the mountain at 11:00 in the morning on Tuesday and suit up for a gorgeous day of downhill fun. I've got the kids and I set to have lessons at 1:30. I am excited about the prospect of skiing again and the kids are bouncing out of their own skin at the very thought of it! 

I drop Peter & Bella off where they’re supposed to be and head off to Day 2 lessons. Experts have heard my tale and have deduced I can start at Day 2. I am met by Rob of Massachusetts – he’s probably about 50 or so, so I feel comfortable with him. I explain my last time skiing and it’s “broken ending” and he decides that even though I can probably handle Day 3 lessons he’ll start me at Day 2 so I erase any fears I may have. My group lesson turns out to be a private lesson as no one else shows up. I am giddy. 

We start with basics – I am doing quite well and feeling confident. We go up a few lifts (nothing too high) and travel through the mountain to a more difficult lift. My confidence is at 100% and I am almost giggling at how easy this all is. 

Foolish woman. 

We are met by a five year old at the bottom of our run who has lost his group. We lead him back to the area where the groups are and Rob tells me since my lesson has ended up as a private he only has an hour with me and now he will need to leave me to my own devices. However, he is certain I am A-OK to carry on on my own and bids my adieu. I thank him, think about arranging lessons for the following day and go forth to find my little lift. 

Fast forward. 

I miss the little lift, end up on the biggest lift, panic ON the lift, get off at the tippy tip and am met by ice. Lots and lots of pretty ice. Terrorized. That’s what I feel. I take Lamaze breathes and go s-l-o-w. What the heck I was thinking I still cannot answer. 

However, Vermont versus Colorado is a whole ‘nother animal when it comes to snow conditions as well as the width of the trails at the top of the mountain. I had been very spoiled learning in Colorado and there is NO WAY I am prepared to handle the rigors of the end of the day ice at the top of the summit. I can’t stop. I fall. A lot. At one point I hit my head SO hard that had I not had a helmet on I fear I would be in the hospital and not home. I am helped up by numerous people. Very experienced people pass me yelling up to each other to be wary of the ice. 

At one point I take off my freaking skis and try going down on my butt. I don’t recommend that. I get them back on and a very kind, very lovely woman named Jackie helps me down a short part of the mountain. We are met at a turn by a kind man named Dave who says, “Are you Jackie?” She says yes. He looks at me and says, “We heard you were in trouble up here, we’ll get you down.” Relief floods through me. Then he says, “Wait’ll you see the folks we’ve got lined up.” We turn the corner and are met by another three Mountain Ambassadors. Yep. That’s what their jacket says. And thank God for them. So, Dave and Hy (none of these ambassadors are under 35 – I love that I am being helped down by very experienced people). One stays in front of me. One stays behind me. Down, traverse, reverse, down, crash. At this point it is after 4:00 – my kids lessons ended at 3:30. Fran, Kristina and Brian have no idea where ANY of us are. Dave says, “Maggie (he knows my name, rank and serial number by now) do you want us to radio you a taxi – AKA a snow mobile?” I am brave and say no. Then I fall again and it’s just too much. YES. YES please I will take the taxi. By now I am shaking, I am nauseas, I have a skull splitting headache and I want off of the mountain more than you can imagine. It turns out I am less than 20% of the way down. Holy mogul. We wait. And wait. And wait. I finally reach someone (my kids told me last night it was Kristina) or maybe she reached me, by cell phone, and she tells me they have my kids. After what seems a crazy long time my chariot shows up. I load myself on – I am so woozy at this point, grip onto the side bars and fly down the mountain to the base. I get off of the snow mobile, thank they man for helping me down and start towards where my family and friends have been patiently waiting for well over an hour. 

Fran sees me heading towards the building and tells me the kids are all in the car and asks me how I am. I cry. I stutter. I am so in la-la land it takes me the better part of 20 minutes to get out of my jumpsuit and into my pants and shoes. We head outside after I change and now I am feeling REALLY awful; disgusting, gut wrenchingly awful. So naturally I throw up. (In a grocery bag so as not to harm my surroundings…) 

I get in the car and we head to the real estate agency to pick up the keys to the condo. I am so not with it. Yep. And I need to get sick again. In a grocery bag. Oh, it’s fun being me and I imagine it’s just as much fun being the passengers in this car… 

We get to the condo and ALL I can do is get changed and into bed. It’s probably 6:00. I wake up at 9:41 to the last contestant on Idol and have my kids call home. I babble incoherent statements and go back to bed. I wake up again at 12:55 and notice Bella isn’t in bed. I head to the living room and find the lights on, the TV on and Bella curled up on the love seat sound asleep. I wake her and send her into the room. I sleep until 7:45 the next day. 

Over coffee, Fran and I realize I must have a concussion. I call Elaine, Athletic Trainer to the Goddesses (the Radio City Rockettes) and tell her my symptoms. She forbids me from taking any further medication (I had taken two Advil) and she informs me there is NO WAY I AM TO SKI AGAIN THAT DAY. She then starts tossing out statistics – 80% of secondary falls with a concussion end in death. OK. You don’t need to tell me twice. I need to name her kids. I do, including middle names and am allowed to stay in Vermont. 

So. 

I ended up in the house for a day and a half while my friends and family conquered the mountain. Including the trail I failed miserably at. (I did tell them to take it early in the day as Dave & Hy had told me even THEY don’t like that trail at the end of the day due to the icy conditions at the top…great…just great…) 

I’m sticking to the little mountains, the little trails and much less drama the next go round. Or, perhaps I will do what my friend Claire does while at Stratton (I called her from my mountain to her mountain) and continue on as the House Mom…making breakfast, lunch and dinner while admiring the splendor and beauty of the mountains from the warmth of the house… 

Because you see, my kids, of course, well, they love the sport. And they’re good at it. Maybe I should have started younger… 

Many of my friends can boast multiple degrees that they received before they turned 30. 

I, apparently, had to live a little.

I am raising two amazing teenagers who will be experiencing college very soon. Their experience will be far different than mine. But it will be a place of magic for them and a place where their dreams will soar. Much as I expect them to.

And so, with a breadth of life experience, wisdom and age, I am delighted to say I persevered, got a kick in the ass from friends who said, "GO FOR IT," and now, I can finally add college graduate to my resume. 

An 8-1/2" x 11" piece of paper that doesn't change me at all, and yet...it totally does.

How's THAT for the greatest Valentine's Day card ever?

I have been extraordinarily blessed in my life. I have loved deeply and been loved as deeply back. You know from this month's posts I am a hopeless romantic who has read too many happily ever after books, who has seen too many romantic comedies, and who believes the words to any good (or bad) love song. Each person I have loved has been exactly right for the period of time we have been together. Love doesn't always go the way I expect it. Parents, siblings, boyfriends, husbands, kids, friends ~ the love is different for each and sometimes it's bliss while other times it's hard. I have learned to reflect on each relationship and cherish the amazing and the difficult. 


I believe when you love, there is ALWAYS, always amazing.

It's Valentine's Day. A Hallmark Holiday in so many ways. I know people who delight in this day and I know people who loathe this day.

What about the people who don't have a Valentine? What about the people whose lives are in flux? What about the people who have a Facebook status of "complicated." (I don't get that to tell you the truth. Why even put it there?)

Frankly, it's Thursday. (That's for several FB friends...)

Chocolate, flowers, perfume, filet mignon, love songs, kindness, a massage, red nails; these shouldn't be saved for just one day of the year. AND, they should be gifts we are free to give ourselves. Any day of the year. We. Are. Worth. It.

The Piano Guys released a new song last night. An instrumental and a vocal version. The instrumental version made me cry; it is that gorgeous. 

I didn't know the song. You would think living with a Taylor Swift fan I would, but I haven't listened to her album, Red, by itself, just in snippets in the car, when I hand over controls of the sound system...which I try to keep as a minimum. (As a total aside, I got a new car - same car, new year, lease was up - AND, the best part? It automatically syncs to MY iPhone - either my iPod or Pandora - I WIN every single time!)

Anyway, back to The Piano Guys. I vote for the instrumental. I am giving you both. You decide.

And so, my heart felt readers, I share their Valentine to us and make it my Valentine to YOU. Enjoy!

xo

I love talented people. I especially love talented people I personally know.

Meet Kait Weston. A dynamo performer who left the suburbs of NY to pursue her love and dream of music in LA. Yep. All the way across the country.

She bought a one-way ticket to paradise a year ago and has been working her butt off to make her dreams come true.

I have known Kait for more than 12 years and she is determined. She is kind, compassionate, caring and soulful. 

One of her biggest goals is to be the person a "Make-A-Wish" kid wants to meet. Now you love her as much as I do. Right?

It's been a while since she released a new single.

Well, TODAY is your lucky day! Check out Kait and her duet partner on this piece, Andrew Vass, with their cover of Rihanna's "Stay."

Although it's not Saturday, I will share Kait's FB link: HERE

Love YOU, Kait! xo