Now that all the crap is out of my basement, I have been spending a lot of time here NOT clearing out.
Rather, I have been thinking. Writing. Pinning over 100 "M's" on Pinterest last night. (It started out innocently enough, with one, and the next thing I knew, I was up to 117.) Attempting to recover unrecoverable files. Folding laundry (totally un-Zenlike). Paying bills. (twice as un-Zenlike).
And, I realized, hiding, again.
Ugh. Just when I think I have moved on from "stuff," I realize I am still like that hamster, going in circles on a wheel to nowhere. It is horribly frustrating when it strikes me that I am in "that place" again. However, THIS time, I surrendered to the truth that I need to decompress, evaluate and look at myself from the inside out.
Rather, I have been thinking. Writing. Pinning over 100 "M's" on Pinterest last night. (It started out innocently enough, with one, and the next thing I knew, I was up to 117.) Attempting to recover unrecoverable files. Folding laundry (totally un-Zenlike). Paying bills. (twice as un-Zenlike).
And, I realized, hiding, again.
Ugh. Just when I think I have moved on from "stuff," I realize I am still like that hamster, going in circles on a wheel to nowhere. It is horribly frustrating when it strikes me that I am in "that place" again. However, THIS time, I surrendered to the truth that I need to decompress, evaluate and look at myself from the inside out.
It took me several weeks. It took a few bad night's of sleep. It took some crazy-ass dreams.
What really made me sit-up and take notice was that I was SNEAKING food down here. Who the hell was I hiding it from? The Jen's? Myself?
::: sigh :::
When I realized that, I realized I needed to actually get the hell OUT of the Magic Basement. When it becomes my hiding spot I know I need to make some changes. The best part of that sentence is that I actually have recognized this and know I have got to get the hell out of here.
What really made me sit-up and take notice was that I was SNEAKING food down here. Who the hell was I hiding it from? The Jen's? Myself?
::: sigh :::
When I realized that, I realized I needed to actually get the hell OUT of the Magic Basement. When it becomes my hiding spot I know I need to make some changes. The best part of that sentence is that I actually have recognized this and know I have got to get the hell out of here.
Never blame any day in your life.
Good days give you happiness.
Bad days give you experience.
Worst days give you a lesson.
I need people. I need to be busy. I need to chat. I need to move. I also know I need down time and I have now had enough. I am hopeful some job opportunities will pan out for me. THAT will get me out of the house and moving again.
I am really happy I have learned enough about myself to figure all of this out without totally spiraling into the pit of despair. I have been there. I don't like it there. It is dark and lonely and isolating.
I know I'm not the only one out there who feels like this.
Feel free to share if you are so inclined.
I am really happy I have learned enough about myself to figure all of this out without totally spiraling into the pit of despair. I have been there. I don't like it there. It is dark and lonely and isolating.
I know I'm not the only one out there who feels like this.
Feel free to share if you are so inclined.
I have had some people mention that they are having a hard time adding comments when they read the blog via their email on their smart phone and/or iPad. I tried it this morning and figured it out. You need to click on the title link in your mail. This will open up in Safari (if that's the browser on your phone). If you look to the right of the title on the top, it will tell you how many comments there are about a particular post. Click on THAT link, even if it says O Comments. That will bring you to the right place. Now, I expect to hear from you. xoxo
