It has been a l-o-n-g time since I made a colossal mistake at work. It is a gross feeling and one that sits in your head and gut for a while. I recall one particularly awful day at the phone company years ago; I made an error in judgement in order to help someone and boy, oh boy, did it result in me getting into enormous amounts of hot water. When the facts were laid out in black and white I realized what a mess I had created. It was disgusting to feel that way. BUT, I learned from that mistake and I learned quickly. I did have deep feelings of terror and guilt and angst to keep me company for a bit of time; eventually those feelings passes.
It didn't matter that I am a 52 year old woman who has been using a cash register for many years. It didn't matter that I have owned five businesses. It didn't matter that I KNEW I didn't take money. In my head and my gut, I was a newbie who had screwed up and done so in a big way. Aw shit, indeed.
BUT, here's the thing. At this salon, the three women who stayed with me? They have been in this business for many years. They have been doing their jobs a long time and each of them was calm. While I cried - you knew I was going to, right? - they talked me off the ledge. I was so incredibly disappointed in MYSELF. I expected better of myself. Frankly, I was feeling damn confident because I felt as if I transitioned into the role of Cindi pretty seamlessly. That'll teach me.
Making a giant mistake, and as well an assortment of little ones, I have since found out, did not kill me. It didn't kill the salon - they still think I did a great job last week. In light of the mistakes, we will now implement a few tweaks to make trouble shooting any monetary errors easier. To make sure the right stylists gets credit for their services. (It was bad, people...) To make certain when changing out large bills for singles and fives and tens that I put the big bills in the right place. Sooner, rather than later, this will all be second nature to me and the mistakes will be few and far between, but, for now, I have to be careful and cognizant of what I am doing.
Remembering the feeling of a big mistake is one I haven't had in many years; I am embracing it now. My kids will, no doubt, experience these same feelings and it's actually quite powerful to have experienced this again. It's not fun, but it is, quite humbling.
Dust yourself up
And start all over again