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Shattered Pieces

7/9/2013

4 Comments

 
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When I started writing this morning, I was planning on writing about fixing someone based on my FB post today. Then, I remembered I had already done so HERE. 

I faced a dilemma on what to write about. I ran out the door to yoga and figured I would write about it when I got home from yoga and acupuncture. Hours passed while I pondered this.

Cara always has such sage things to say, whether it's through yoga, her writing or just a quick text. Cara's blog pieces tend to hit me front and center. THIS piece, in particular, really made me sit up and take notice of what I do with myself. Food has typically been where I run to when I am not in the best state of mind. It sucks. Intellectually, I know I am damaging myself. Emotionally, it gives me solace. And then I get pissed off. And so the cycle continues. 

I am a pretty enlightened person with many resources at my disposal. I know what to do, I know how to do it, but my poor heart can really only go to one place. The kitchen. It's a vicious cycle I have repeated many times in my life. The state of my body is usually the state of my mental health. It means I need to kick it into gear and get my shit together. Again. It is so insanely frustrating. I can't blame it on hormones. I can't blame it on the person who does the grocery shopping. I can't blame it on ignorance. I can watch in a totally detached manner as I put food I really don't want into my mouth to compensate for something in my shattered self. For, as always, I am the one who needs to be fixed. I am the one whose heart is fragile.

I am not alone in this. Every Weight Watchers meeting contains someone like me. Every nutritionist has a client like me. Every trainer has a client like me. There are millions of people like me. But I am the only one who can work on me and be in my head.

None of this is ever easy. I am glad I have the people in my life who love me and who will help me get to where I want to be. One step forward, two steps back. The dance of the slightly shattered pieces of my heart.

http://youtu.be/Qp-OaVl-CJc
4 Comments
JC
7/9/2013 08:47:23 am

ALWAYS here Maggie.....

Reply
Maggie ~ TGHR
7/9/2013 11:15:24 am

And for this I will always be grateful, JC!
xo

Reply
Candace
7/9/2013 12:47:59 pm

That is exactly me!!!

Reply
Maggie ~ TGHR
7/9/2013 08:08:27 pm

Of COURSE it is, Candace!
xo

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    Maggie Pinque

    Believer in making dreams come true.
    Intuitive Card Reader.
    Author.  
    Inspirational Speaker. 
    ​Beacon of Optimism.

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