I will have two kids in high school this year. A senior and a junior. Both of them thisclose to no longer being under my roof.
Sometimes, I wonder if I did/do too much for them.
When I was their age, I was already cleaning and cooking and prepping meals for the whole family. You know those conversations WE had as teenagers about what we would never make our kids do? I basically didn't. And as a result, I get concerned about the little things. Will Peter be able to survive on anything other than something he can pop in a microwave? It's not like I didn't try to teach the kid to cook from a very early age, trust me, I did. He just has zero interest. Bella likes to cook, so he counts on her to actually boil water and make pasta for him. Feel free to roll your eyes along with me... Bella has actually said out loud, "I am no good at vacuuming, perhaps I shouldn't do it," and I fall for that. Roll your eyes so hard you can see your brain now...
Early this morning, I realized there was no toilet paper in this house. Yesterday, Peter asked me if there was any in the downstairs bathroom. I told him there was some under his vanity in their bathroom. He neglected to tell me he had already looked and there was none. Can I tell you, that just made me go off this morning. REALLY? You are 17 years old and you couldn't mention there was no TP? So off I went to fill HIS car with gas and buy TP at the A&P at 6:35 in the morning. I thought to myself, I am creating people who can't figure out how to function because I do too much for them.
And then I thought, they are young once. They will work their whole lives. HOPEFULLY, they will work at something they love, because we do this working stuff a long, long time. To be unhappy is no fun. And so, of course, they will make mistakes, and run out of toilet paper, and eat Ramen Noodles for four years even with a meal plan, and some day, they too will have small people, who they will love with every blessed fiber of their being, and they will wonder if they are fucking them up for all eternity as well.
::: taking a deep breath :::
One way or another, they will figure it out. They will cook more than Ramen. They will go grocery shopping and put something other than Goldfish crackers, Pizza Bites and cereal in the cart. They might even put something green. They will make their own money. Someday, they will buy ME breakfast.
My kids are awesome human beings. They are kind. They are considerate. They are thoughtful. They say please and thank you. If you were to see them you would comment to me that they're great kids. Those qualities as a person, far outweigh not telling me we have no toilet paper.
We're only human. I needed to remind myself of that this morning. To take a deep breath and let it go, because I suspect, this year will fly by and before I know it, I will be the one posting something poignant about Peter heading off to college.
Bless them all, no matter how much or how little we have done for them. They are brilliant, beautiful, fantastic human beings who are our future. Long may they reign.
We're only human, we're supposed to make mistakes